bluegreen17: (Default)
here today because of lj attack. i am thinking of doing some importing,if i can figure out how,later. don't know if i have to be a paid account to do that. will have to explore more. also to see what dreamwidth is like these days! i have found it therapeutic to ramble somewhere,so...here i am right now!

just ate breakfast. i want to get tons of things done today but i doubt my energy will hold out,so it's time to prioritize. the sun is out today...yippee!
bluegreen17: (Default)
one of these days i'm going to figure out how to upload a userpic here. no rush. for some reason,i can do it on livejournal,but not here. ah,well. and i so love sharing my amateur art. later,maybe.

in other much more exciting news,i cleaned my kitchen sink. yay.

i'm still trying out dreamwidth. i'm not sure i'll stay. it's great in many ways,but i'm not really into fandom stuff,at least not at the moment. but i know there are other things here too,and also it is just starting,so i'll see if i belong here after i've been here for a while.
bluegreen17: (Default)
i'm supposed to be calling my (now former) insurance company. i wonder why i would procrastinate over that? bleh.
bluegreen17: (Default)
i stumbled upon blip.fm this morning and remembered hearing about it from my sisters. so i joined up and i love playing dj.
bluegreen17: (Default)
a beautiful day. i've been out to walk a couple of times,but i get psychologically tired. couldn't find anyone to walk with today,though i may go with a neighbor later. i tend to be socially isolated at times due to being a depressive person with small amounts of a certain kind of energy. but it's not as bad as it used to be,and i'm working on it. still,it is hard for me to make and maintain friendships because i don't have a lot of energy to give to them.

_spent some time on youtube listening to enya (and watching the gorgeous vids),deanta,and dougie maclean.

i should have gone to see my dad,but i really didn't have the energy for that.

but anyway i have been enjoy the beautiful coolish air as i sit close by the window. at least i haven't stayed in bed all day. that's something. just restless and a little lonely.

and i've become fond of bejeweled blitz and am becoming a whiz kid at it.

p.s. i loooove autosaving of drafts!
bluegreen17: (Default)
i'm a shy person but when i was in college during a summer,i worked at a department store. the first summer i work in the stockroom out back,so i could hide. the next summer they wanted me to learn the cash register. i wasn't thrilled,but it was probably one of the best things that happened to me. i learned to be professionally outgoing. actually,i am both outgoing and introvert,but anyway i learned a lot of how to deal with the public,which has helped me muchly over the years.

i just got a toshiba laptop. i've wanted a computer for years but have had to make do with webtv/msntv and trips to the library. but i finally put a computer on a credit card. i couldn't stand being computerless anymore. i love the stuff. i'm teaching myself the basics,though i ask my sister questions...

i really wanted to get a mac because my sisters love theirs,but they were just a bit too pricey for me. i've retired early,at the age of 50,due to a disability which i am working to heal somewhat (clinical depression...) and may or may not go back to work someday. so i have a fixed income. i am grateful for having a chance to get better. i was getting suicidal so i finally took a medical leave from my job. it's gonna take a while,so i'm on social security disability for now. okay,probably tmi and i'm babbling.
bluegreen17: (Default)
i'm craving pop tarts. raspberry would be good. i crave sugar in the evening which is why i haven't been buying packages of anything...i'll eat the whole thing. so i'll buy a single serving,like a package of funny bones or one of those little ben and jerry's frozen yogurts.

i love eating and i like talking about food but i'm not too crazy about preparing it. oh,well...

just went to bring out my neighbor's trash (she's recovering from ankle surgery) and all i could see in the sky was one bright star,which was probably a planet.


i was playing the sims for a while. i love the houses. i try to get my sims to earn a lot of money so they can buy the big expensive houses! silly me. well,it's daydreaming via computer. could do worse things. much worse.
bluegreen17: (Default)
yes,they've got me. you know,THEM. the capitalists. capitalizing on the fact that i love that movie fellowship of the ring so much i want 'more'. and the only way to get more,really,is to get a dvd player.



and i know nothing about dvd players,so i'm just beginning to learn.

i'm wondering if i do get a dvd player will i have to get a new tv to watch it? my tv is about 15 years old and has only one inlet (is that the opposite of outlet? that's what i mean...) in the back of it. on the other hand,i guess inlets ARE outlets. er,i think...(i'm not going to scramble my brain over that one...plenty of other things to scramble it with)



i wonder if my mom will leave her tv here when she moves out? maybe i will inherit it as some compensation for paying mom's rent all these months?

i almost feel evil thinking that.right now we are looking into assisted living situations. actually,mom would probably want her tv...when she's home it's on all the time (which drives me crazy) and she even goes to sleep by the hum of it...she sleeps on the couch so she can do that. i guess it's her heroin or something...could be worse.



anyway,i am going to sit down and look at my money situation and see if there is any money left from the $1000 dad gave me for my birthday that i didn't use to pay rent already!



i want a dvd player but i also don't intend to go into debt or even put it on a credit card...i can't afford to make credit card payments anyway. as it is,i am thinking i might just be able to squeak by living alone which would be great if i could do it. i'd enjoy having this place to myself and i'd like to stay here if the landlord lets me take over the lease.of course if he decided to raise the rent i wouldn't be able to,since i'm really cutting it so close. i'm even thinking with all the money i'm saving not eat an evening sugary snack and no chocolate and maybe if i stop eating sugar...well,that would give me more money.



when i was younger, i would occasionally skip meals so i could see a band on the weekend,but i'm too old to do that,plus i use to weigh a lot more than i do now so i could afford to skip a meal!



to tell you the truth,i'm excited at the prospect of living alone if i can manage it,even if it means i will have very little money. just having my space in my own home gives me so much peace of mind. and when i want to crank up the stereo while i'm doing my oh so tedious chore of brushing and flossing (i hate it...can you tell? and i have to spend fifteen minutes twice a day to do the job properly after eating my two meals,so i don't lose all my teeth...they are so delicate! that helps me to not snack too...it's too much trouble to have to do the teeth thing afterwards!) or when i first get up in the morning to wake me up

and get me going (since i can't drink coffee because of my stomach)



one of my bosses said to me one day a few months ago 'you have so many problems it's unbelievable' yup. but i'm slowly working on just integrating them into my life so they are no longer problems,if that makes sense. the teeth thing isn't a huge problems...but it's a royal pain in the a** between the hygiene time needed as well as money spent every six months for having cavities taken care of...even though i have insurance,they only pay partially and there's 10% less coverage becuase my dentist isn't in their damned network but i keep going to this dentist because he's good at what he does,his staff is great and i always feel relaxed there...which is saying a lot for a dentist's office!....and not only that,he's right down the street so i dont have to do yet more travelling on my day off. my last bill was $80 which is a lot when basically you have no money to spare. i must be a miracle worker to have managed on so very little all these months...which reminds me,i need to set some money aside to take mom out to the chinese place for her birthday...she loves to go out to eat even more than she loves tv (and to be fair to her,she's not really such a dull person...she loves to play piano and for a few years before she had to sell the house we grew up in,she had an old baby grand piano that my grandmother had bought for her. it sounded beautiful. i have a recording that i made on one of those cheapo tape recorders of her playing one of my favorite songs.it's called 'spoon river' and i know very little about it except that it was in one of my mother's piano books and i love it. it's an incredibly complex piece of music to play,and it's very emotional...does that mean it's in a minor key? well, i know so little about music theory. my mom is also a very talented seamstress,even now. she once made all her kids and a few other people costumes for the bicentennial of the town i grew up in. i had a gorgeous dress with a hoop skirt and my mom had a bustle...which my baby sister hid under because she was shy! oh,how i do go on....



gotta get ready for work!

Profile

bluegreen17: (Default)
bluegreen17

April 2011

S M T W T F S
     12
345 6789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Aug. 31st, 2016 12:20 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios