bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2003-07-02 01:48 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2003-07-02 01:48 pm
(no subject)
i'm not doing too well at the moment.
damn,i work hard at trying to be positive,but the last week at work was tough and discouraging...work backed way up since i went on vacation and little help in sight. okay,well then i have my sunday and monday to wind down. but...i guess it's pms because i had a pretty bad two days of self-loathing which has continued and not let up.
went back to work on tuesday and things were in even worse shape as nothing was done while i was gone,and it piled up even more. okay.
so this morning i wake up rather depressed but tried everything to get myself to perk up. so,little by little,trying to have a few moments here and there of feeling better.
i just went to do my brushing and flossing,a chore i loathe but i spend fifteen to twenty minutes three times a day doing a thorough job on my teeth. today i noticed...that about two of my teeth,there is a horrible gap where my gums should be. my gums are 'healthy'...i.e.pink and not diseased because of how well i take care of my dental hygiene. but the receding of the gums is genetic...and when the gums recede,the root surface of the tooth is exposed and decays very very easily. my gums have been receding for a while but last time i went to the dentist,he said he'd keep an eye on them,but if they got worse,i'd have to go to a surgeon and have some procedure done.
well,shit,looks like i'm going to have to...and where will i find the money? even a mere cavity is expensive even though i have insurance. i'm just feeling really negative...i haven't even gotten new glasses yet and i need them.
and i know if i allow myself to be negative,it will probably just makes things worse. but i don't have the energy to pick myself up right now. so sometimes when i feel like this,i pray...but when i feel this way,God always seems to be very absent,which makes me feel even worse.
oh,i could go on about a lot of other things that are bothering me,but i won't.
anyway,please send good vibes and prayers. i'm just having a really really tough time of it right now.
thanks.
damn,i work hard at trying to be positive,but the last week at work was tough and discouraging...work backed way up since i went on vacation and little help in sight. okay,well then i have my sunday and monday to wind down. but...i guess it's pms because i had a pretty bad two days of self-loathing which has continued and not let up.
went back to work on tuesday and things were in even worse shape as nothing was done while i was gone,and it piled up even more. okay.
so this morning i wake up rather depressed but tried everything to get myself to perk up. so,little by little,trying to have a few moments here and there of feeling better.
i just went to do my brushing and flossing,a chore i loathe but i spend fifteen to twenty minutes three times a day doing a thorough job on my teeth. today i noticed...that about two of my teeth,there is a horrible gap where my gums should be. my gums are 'healthy'...i.e.pink and not diseased because of how well i take care of my dental hygiene. but the receding of the gums is genetic...and when the gums recede,the root surface of the tooth is exposed and decays very very easily. my gums have been receding for a while but last time i went to the dentist,he said he'd keep an eye on them,but if they got worse,i'd have to go to a surgeon and have some procedure done.
well,shit,looks like i'm going to have to...and where will i find the money? even a mere cavity is expensive even though i have insurance. i'm just feeling really negative...i haven't even gotten new glasses yet and i need them.
and i know if i allow myself to be negative,it will probably just makes things worse. but i don't have the energy to pick myself up right now. so sometimes when i feel like this,i pray...but when i feel this way,God always seems to be very absent,which makes me feel even worse.
oh,i could go on about a lot of other things that are bothering me,but i won't.
anyway,please send good vibes and prayers. i'm just having a really really tough time of it right now.
thanks.