Apr. 8th, 2017

bluegreen17: (Surf Snoopy)
a big thank you to dreamwidth for being here,and for the amazing job of porting all that info from livejournal before i delete my lj. it took a couple of days,but it's understandable considering how many people are currently moving stuff from lj to dw. in the transfer,i lost about 200 plus out of almost 2000 entries. i have no idea why,but i'm grateful for so much that was saved and transferred! just don't feel comfortable about having anything to do with lj anymore,which is of course,sad.
bluegreen17: (Default)
i'm one of those folks who just dragged all their crap from lj because i don't want to worry about russian laws,or support the regime! i'm following the revival as it's a good time to find a few new folks and try to get my journaling mojo going again.

i will probably add a few new folks and then decide on whom i will do the 'grant access' thing with...i think that's similar to letting lj folks read your private stuff. i'm not terribly secretive though. i'm probably more likely to lean towards tmi and i guess you either want to follow me or you don't. i always thought i'd be more popular on the internet than i am,because i think i have an interesting mind,but apparently it depends on what one is interested in or how wide a scope you throw your...i was gonna say 'net' but that's not quite right...maybe embrace?

anyway,i am very grateful to dreamwidth because i haven't learned too much computer savvy stuff and don't even know much about backing stuff up,and my mental and physical energy limits what i do both with my brain and my body,so i don't think i'll be doing that soon. so,even though i have great anxiety over my finances and not much hope for improvement in the future,i want to scrape up a few dollars to give to dw,because i am grateful for the whole import thing,and just for being able to be here,and not totally lose everything i did on livejournal!
bluegreen17: (Default)
alfons mucha, architecture, art deco, arts and crafts movement, asperger's, atomic ranch, autism, baseball, cake, calvin and hobbes, cats, coffee flavor, extroverted introverts, geography, kaleidoscopes, meta, mid-century culture, modern dance, morrissey, mutual admiration societies, non-fiction, not procrastinating until later, office supplies, open windows, pinwheels, retro kitsch, retro-futurism, semiotics, sherlock holmes, shiny things, simulation, sparkle, stephen fry, subcultures, symbol systems, thomas pynchon, valentines, walter bishop, whirligigs, young pope, zephyrs

for now,i just copy/pasted my interests from lj before deleting.
bluegreen17: (Default)
Our joy, our peace, our happiness depend very much on our practice of recognizing and transforming our habit energies. There are positive habit energies that we have to cultivate, there are negative habit energies that we have to recognize, embrace and transform. The energy with which we do these things is mindfulness. Mindfulness is a kind of energy that helps us to be aware of what is going on. Therefore, when the habit energy shows itself, we know right away. "Hello, my little habit energy, I know you are there. I will take good care of you." In recognizing it as it is, you are in control of the situation. You don’t have to fight it; in fact the Buddha does not recommend that you fight it, because that habit energy is you, and you should not fight against yourself. You have to generate the energy of mindfulness, which is also you, and that positive energy will do the work of recognizing and embracing. Every time you embrace your habit energy, you can help it to transform a little bit. The habit energy is a kind of seed within your consciousness, and when it becomes a source of energy, you have to recognize it. You have to bring your mindfulness into the present moment, and you just embrace that negative energy: "Hello, my negative habit energy. I know you are there. I am here for you." After maybe one or two or three minutes, that energy will go back into the form of a seed, in order to re-manifest itself later on. You have to be very alert.

Every time a negative energy is embraced by the energy of mindfulness, it will lose a little bit of its strength as it returns as a seed to the lower level of consciousness. The same thing is true for all other mental formations: your fear, your anguish, your anxiety, and your despair. They exist in us in the form of seeds, and every time one of the seeds is watered, it becomes a zone of energy on the upper level of our consciousness. If you don’t know how to take care of it, it will cause damage, it will push us to do or to say things that will damage us and damage the people we love. Therefore, generating the energy of mindfulness, to recognize it, to embrace it, to take care of it, is the practice. And the practice should be done in a very tender, non-violent way. There should be no fighting, because when you fight, you create damage within yourself. The Buddhist practice is based on the insight of non-duality: you are love, you are mindfulness, but you are also that habit energy within you. To meditate does not mean to transform yourself into a battlefield, the right fighting the wrong, the positive fighting the negative. That’s not Buddhist. That is why, based on the insight of non-duality, the practice should be non-violent. Mindfulness embracing anger is like a mother embracing her child, big sister embracing younger sister. The embrace always brings a positive effect. You can bring relief, and you can cause the negative energy to lose some of its strength, just by embracing it.

thich nhat hanh
bluegreen17: (Default)
"I am suffering, forgive me, I am suffering..."

"What is it in particular?"

"I am suffering... because of lack of faith..."

"Lack of faith in God?"

"oh no, no, I wouldn't eve dare to contemplate anything like that--it's simply the matter of the life to come, it's such a mystery! And nobody, you see, nobody knows the answer to it! Look, you are a healer, you have knowledge of men's souls; of course, I daren't presume that you should believe everything I say, but I assure you most emphatically that I'm not being trivial; the thought of life after death drives me to distraction, it terrifies me... and I don't know who to turn to, I've lacked the courage all my life... And now I've plucked up the courage to turn to you... Oh God! What will you think of me now?"

"Do not worry about my opinion. I truly can believe your anguish is genuine."

"Oh, how grateful I am to you! You see, I often shut my eyes and think: if anybody has faith, where do they all get it from? And yet at the same time we are told that, originally, it all came from fear in the face of the threatening forces of nature, and that really there's nothing at all after death! Well, the thought that occurs to me is this: here I am, a lifelong believer, but I'll die, and suddenly there'll be nothing, just 'burdock on my grave', as one author put it. How terrible! How an one buttress one's faith--how? Anyway, I only really believed when I was a small child, automatically, without thinking about it... What proof is there, how can I dispell my doubts? Oh, I'm so unhappy! And when I look around, I see that no one's concerned about it at all, or practically no one, no one cares about it now, and that it's only me who's worrying herself to death about it at all. It's unbearable--simply unbearable!"

"Quite so, quite so. But it's not so much a matter of obtaining proof, as of dispelling doubt."

"But how?"

"By the practice of active love. Try to love your neighbors actively and steadfastly. The more you practice love, the more you will be convinced of the existence of God and the immortality of your soul. Should you attain total renunciation of self in your love for your neighbor, then your faith will be absolute, and no doubt will ever assail your soul. This has been tried, and this has been tested."

from The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoevsky
bluegreen17: (Default)
well,i finally finalized it. i went through my lj memories...skimmed some,but went through a few,as these were things that were favorites. and then i deleted,including my comments and community posts. i just don't want the russian government to own anything i've written,and that is what the legalese says,from my best understanding. makes me sad,but life moves on...how cliche.


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