bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2004-06-14 05:58 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2004-06-14 05:58 pm
am i just a weak person?
sometimes i feel like such a...fraud.
that's not really the right word,but i don't know what that word would be.
here's the deal. i read a lot of books on spirituality and psychology and what i read makes sense. but i have such a hard time putting it into practice. maybe it's because i should be on some miracle anti-depressant so i'd feel capable of being flexible,like 'normal' people are. that is,you have something crappy happen to you,you get bummed out about it,and then YOU GET OVER IT. hallelujah! i'd love to GET OVER things.i was able to 'get over things' for several months when i first start taking wellbutrin (i still take it because if i don't,i get even more depressed. i've developed an addiction to it,in spite of the fact that it's not supposed to happen. of course it does...it's a stimulant. or maybe i'm wrong,because i stopped taking it for about three months,and i don't think i ever 'detoxed'. 3 months should be enough to bounce back form an addiction,shouldn't it? hell,i don't know.)
oh,well,i really was planning to be concise here! what i wanted to say was that yesterday i listened to this excellent 2-tape set by wayne dyer. it was very inspiring,he's a fun speaker to listen to,and what he says makes sense. why can't i DO the things that will help me? sometimes i can,but a lot of times i can't.
for several reasons,i do not want to try any other psychiatric medications.
hell,maybe i'm going through a spiritual crisis,because i think the 'dark night of the soul' is part of the whole thing of feeling abandoned by god,which i feel like a lot. but i have no idea of where to get help for a 'spiritual crisis',because a lot of people don't even believe in them. western medicine is all about giving you a pill.
i have a co-worker who was on 5 psychiatric medications. then she had to take a leave because of depression. she was out for five months. now she takes even more...it just seems to escalate and escalate--the number of different meds people take at a time. it sounds more like good business than good medicine. she now takes more than three times the dose of wellbutrin i take,plus neurontin,effexor,and a newer one i can't remember the name of. ALL OF THOSE.EVERY DAY. there has got to be a better way.
in spite of the fact that i'm not very good at applying useful things to my life,i think wayne dyer rocks.
that's not really the right word,but i don't know what that word would be.
here's the deal. i read a lot of books on spirituality and psychology and what i read makes sense. but i have such a hard time putting it into practice. maybe it's because i should be on some miracle anti-depressant so i'd feel capable of being flexible,like 'normal' people are. that is,you have something crappy happen to you,you get bummed out about it,and then YOU GET OVER IT. hallelujah! i'd love to GET OVER things.i was able to 'get over things' for several months when i first start taking wellbutrin (i still take it because if i don't,i get even more depressed. i've developed an addiction to it,in spite of the fact that it's not supposed to happen. of course it does...it's a stimulant. or maybe i'm wrong,because i stopped taking it for about three months,and i don't think i ever 'detoxed'. 3 months should be enough to bounce back form an addiction,shouldn't it? hell,i don't know.)
oh,well,i really was planning to be concise here! what i wanted to say was that yesterday i listened to this excellent 2-tape set by wayne dyer. it was very inspiring,he's a fun speaker to listen to,and what he says makes sense. why can't i DO the things that will help me? sometimes i can,but a lot of times i can't.
for several reasons,i do not want to try any other psychiatric medications.
hell,maybe i'm going through a spiritual crisis,because i think the 'dark night of the soul' is part of the whole thing of feeling abandoned by god,which i feel like a lot. but i have no idea of where to get help for a 'spiritual crisis',because a lot of people don't even believe in them. western medicine is all about giving you a pill.
i have a co-worker who was on 5 psychiatric medications. then she had to take a leave because of depression. she was out for five months. now she takes even more...it just seems to escalate and escalate--the number of different meds people take at a time. it sounds more like good business than good medicine. she now takes more than three times the dose of wellbutrin i take,plus neurontin,effexor,and a newer one i can't remember the name of. ALL OF THOSE.EVERY DAY. there has got to be a better way.
in spite of the fact that i'm not very good at applying useful things to my life,i think wayne dyer rocks.