another sister hates me

[bluegreen17]

now my sister emailed me and she is waiting for a call back from the dr.'s

so i can't leave the house to do the personal errands i need to do which stresses me out even more. plus,this sister wrote something in an email about how everyone has problems and i may think i have it worse than normal....implying that other people,including herself,has it as bad as i do. well,i'm sure some do,but many don't. i dont' know what problems this sister has...she is not at liberty to say,for some reason. i worry about her,but i can't do anything about it.it's just one more thing i worry about. but she implies that i'm just a wimp,and this is the second time one of my sisters has just told me 'you have to deal'. both of these sisters are fundamentalist christians,and i guess they get sustance from that faith. in a way,i admire that. but i told my sister that god does not help me even when i ask,and what kind of god helps those just because they go to church? you know what,i think my heart is just as good and pure as hers.

i am doing very poorly today so of course i shot back an angry email. it looks like i will have alienated two of my sisters,one other sister gets mad at me periodically...when i am not listening to HER depression,she is telling me to 'just cope' and one other sister...well,sometimes she is sympathetic. i basically have no mother other than as a burden,and my father is supportive in his own way but doesn't really listen to my problems,and i have very little suppor her and hardly know how to help myself anymore. it really hurts that my sisters look down on me as well...


i sent out an email for help and i just get condesencion so far.

Comments

[chaiya.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know if this helps any, but I often find it comforting to think of petulant relatives as petulant children -- they need infinite patience, they don't understand much of the world around them, and in the end, well, you're stuck with them, so you may as well drive them crazy with your smiles.

Try to laugh, at least. Okay? :)

[desu.livejournal.com]

That or just forget you have them.

[laverick.livejournal.com]

I hope you don't mind me commenting--I added you to my friend's list after reading a recent post of yours in chronic_health.

Anyway, having a fundamentalist brother of my own, I can empathize both with dealing with sibling's judgment and condescension (I think sometimes people truly don't know when they're being that condescending), as well as your own spiritual struggles that you discussed.

I definitely relate to feeling alienated from God the sicker I got with fibro and cmp. It can be so frustrating when you feel your prayers aren't heard, and it's really hard hearing from others tell you just to pray and believe and you'll be better. Because that's not necessarily true, as we both know.

Sometimes it's not worth arguing with people who just can't or won't hear your voice. I know how hard it is, especially with family, but sometimes you just have to let it go, recognize that you are just going to disagree; it's not worth using all the energy you do have with that. Use it to help get yourself healthier and stronger, or at least, to keep yourself from getting any worse.

Btw, I feel you can be pure and good heart without church, outside of religion. It comes more from a spiritual center, a love for mankind, humanity, and you can find that in people all over the world, no matter their race or creed.

Anyway, I realize I didn't really say anything helpful, but I understand a lot of what you're going through. (((hugs)))

[bluegreen17]

i really appreciate your comments and support.i so often feel like i have no right to complain,and yet i feel mentally bad a lot...it's one of those things that's hard to explain,and is not obvious to others,so often it is discounted as just plain selfishness. what is cmp? fibromyalgia must be so hard to deal with. take care.