bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2002-10-24 03:41 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2002-10-24 03:41 pm
me and my pint
once again,i'm being bad and self-indulgent. it's only been three days since i last did this,so that is baaad. well,things are baaaad right now.yes,i'm as goofy as ever and no,i have not been drinking but i did fall off the no-chocolate wagon yet again.
this is rather sad,but last night's news was so bad that all i could think of was being comforted by ben and jerry's.yes,rather sad when your lover and best friend is a pint of frozen yogurt. well,i guess it could be worse. it could be a bottle of jack daniels or a needle full of heroin,i suppose. but don't even drunks and junkies have friends? okay,i have friends. i just don't have friends around here to run to when i'm upset. and maybe that's okay because i don't really think that's what friends should be for.but that's probably because i'm too damned independent sometimes.if i'm at work,sometimes my work friends are kind enough to listen to me.
well,i didn't go to work today. that's another reason i'm bad. actually,i'm just trying to survive psychologically,i suppose. i was so depressed this morning that i didn't get out of bed until 12:30 in the afternoon,and that's bad even for me.
and i couldn't get myself to go to work even though i have stuff to do at work and more will probably be piled on today.i at least didn't leave boxes of new magazines to go out unpacked when i left last night.
well,actually,i did leave one. but i did get out all the others including one that had a boating magazine that someone was eagerly awaiting.i usually try to get stuff out first that people have recently asked if it has arrived yet.unless they are jerks,then i don't care. but other than being horrible slobs,most of the customers that talk to me in the store are nice,at least when talking to me.
in general,even if i'm grumpy inside,when someone comes up to me and asks me something i generally switch right into pleasant mode. it's partly my job and partly how i was raised. (a sad aside is that i mentioned to my sister michele today that mom does things that are rude without meaning to...we know there is something wrong with her brain,because SHE is the one who taught us manners and consideration for others. my dad is the white trash side of the family,bless him,and is not so adept at the social graces even now. sometimes he's a little sharp with waitresses and i try to smooth it over and be extra nice to them because i'm embarrassed at my dad's behavior. but that doesn't really happen all that often,thank goodness.my dad's a good person,he's just...gauche,i think is the word.)
at work i sometimes even surprise myself at how nice i can be to people...it's like i'm observing myself from the outside. in a way,yes it's acting,but on the other hand the fact that i am in the HABIT of being considerate of others in one habit i don't mind having. i'm acting the way i want to BE,and sometimes i suppose it's not acting at all.
anyway,that was just another tangent.
i'm going to get back to my ben and jerry's and bliss out for fifteen minutes. or something like that.
'I'm doing my best under really
difficult circumstances!'
-alex law (as played by the lovely and talented ewan mcgregor...wish i had a sound file of it,because it is really funny the way he says it!) in 'shallow grave',the movie i 'discovered' ewan in.
this is rather sad,but last night's news was so bad that all i could think of was being comforted by ben and jerry's.yes,rather sad when your lover and best friend is a pint of frozen yogurt. well,i guess it could be worse. it could be a bottle of jack daniels or a needle full of heroin,i suppose. but don't even drunks and junkies have friends? okay,i have friends. i just don't have friends around here to run to when i'm upset. and maybe that's okay because i don't really think that's what friends should be for.but that's probably because i'm too damned independent sometimes.if i'm at work,sometimes my work friends are kind enough to listen to me.
well,i didn't go to work today. that's another reason i'm bad. actually,i'm just trying to survive psychologically,i suppose. i was so depressed this morning that i didn't get out of bed until 12:30 in the afternoon,and that's bad even for me.
and i couldn't get myself to go to work even though i have stuff to do at work and more will probably be piled on today.i at least didn't leave boxes of new magazines to go out unpacked when i left last night.
well,actually,i did leave one. but i did get out all the others including one that had a boating magazine that someone was eagerly awaiting.i usually try to get stuff out first that people have recently asked if it has arrived yet.unless they are jerks,then i don't care. but other than being horrible slobs,most of the customers that talk to me in the store are nice,at least when talking to me.
in general,even if i'm grumpy inside,when someone comes up to me and asks me something i generally switch right into pleasant mode. it's partly my job and partly how i was raised. (a sad aside is that i mentioned to my sister michele today that mom does things that are rude without meaning to...we know there is something wrong with her brain,because SHE is the one who taught us manners and consideration for others. my dad is the white trash side of the family,bless him,and is not so adept at the social graces even now. sometimes he's a little sharp with waitresses and i try to smooth it over and be extra nice to them because i'm embarrassed at my dad's behavior. but that doesn't really happen all that often,thank goodness.my dad's a good person,he's just...gauche,i think is the word.)
at work i sometimes even surprise myself at how nice i can be to people...it's like i'm observing myself from the outside. in a way,yes it's acting,but on the other hand the fact that i am in the HABIT of being considerate of others in one habit i don't mind having. i'm acting the way i want to BE,and sometimes i suppose it's not acting at all.
anyway,that was just another tangent.
i'm going to get back to my ben and jerry's and bliss out for fifteen minutes. or something like that.
'I'm doing my best under really
difficult circumstances!'
-alex law (as played by the lovely and talented ewan mcgregor...wish i had a sound file of it,because it is really funny the way he says it!) in 'shallow grave',the movie i 'discovered' ewan in.
no subject
Jack Daniels doesn't go with Ben & Jerry's anyway. (Rum and coke does, but you burp.)