bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2003-03-03 05:36 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2003-03-03 05:36 pm
(no subject)
it takes so little to put me in a bad mood. i seem to have a ridiculously low tolerance for frustration.
yesterday it rained and then it got cold very quickly. so i wasn't surprised that my car doors were frozen shut and i had to tug on them to break the ice. also,my driver's side lock freezes once in a while. of course it was like that today. i have to unlock the passenger side and unlock it from the inside.
well,today after i managed to get my driver's side door open,it wouldn't SHUT. wouldn't latch,whatever. i took a look at it to see if i could figure out the problem but with the wind today it's brutally cold so i didn't try for long. i ended up locking my door from the inside just to keep it closed and drove to the store. when i got there,i was able to get it to close,somehow. when i came back out,i couldn't unlock it from outside OR inside,so i had to crawl in over the passenger's side,over the shift which makes it damned difficult even if i have short legs and then you have to crawl underneath the automatic seatbelts. had to do that to get out when i got home.
i finally got the key to totally unlock the door...i kind of forced it. i'm wondering what the hell i would do if both my doors froze and i couldnt unlock either. does anyone know of a way to prevent this? i can envision trying to force the lock and breaking something...i still don't know why it wouldn't latch at first...and then having to spend more money and time i don't have having it fixed. and it sends me into a downward spiral of thinking of everything that depresses or worries me and arriving at the conclusion that my life totally sucks.that's how my brain usually works and i hate it. i wonder what my brain would do if i didn't have any problems to worry about? but no one has no worries,do they,so why even speculate....
well,on the better news front
my sister came over today and we went out for lunch. she wanted pizza and i didn't so we went to an italian place that has pizza and pasta and sandwiches. she ended up getting stuffed shells and garlic bread and i had a tuna sub. doesn't sound exciting but i like tuna sandwiches.
we had a great time because we always have a million things to talk about. we were going to go for a walk because it was nice and sunny but we didn't because it's really bitterly cold,and it must be pretty bad because it's the end of winter and we're used to it.
we were going to rent a video or dvd but we couldn't find anything we wanted to see so we came back home and watched my u2 best 90-2000 video dvd,which was great and it was twice the fun watching it with her.
so up until the car door incident,i was having a pretty good day. except i forgot to make a few phone calls but i did remember one.another one i remembered but it was too late in the day and a third i can't even remember what it was at the moment! ack.
however,i had a small moment of triumph. my sister wanted to know how to open the hood of her car and i found the latch thingie inside and then,with much difficulty,though i knew it had to be there,i found the latch under the hood.she said the salesman had the same problem. so i'm not entirely useless. ha ha. just extremely unstable sometimes.
much of the time,i can't deal with the littlest things going wrong.so many things feel like the last straw. and i use any excuse to eat too much sugar. because i need to stop feeling upset. because i can't stand feeling upset or off-kilter or whatever...my equilibrium is so easily disturbed.i dont understand why,but that's how it is.
i had a blast with my sister,but after several hours,i found myself wanting her to go home,which is really weird,but i felt the need to be alone and regroup,so to speak. i need stability somewhere to survive the tropical storms and hurricanes that whirl around my brain so often. so i seek stability in my daily life,in routines,in keeping things low key. though once in a while i do thrive on something different,as long as it's not too much.
i often joke around that i'm a 'delicate flower'. i certainly don't appear weak and delicate in a physical sense. but in a mental and emotional sense,i'm metaphorically fainting all the time and needing to be revived. as usual,i don't know if that makes sense. just ruminating...
yesterday it rained and then it got cold very quickly. so i wasn't surprised that my car doors were frozen shut and i had to tug on them to break the ice. also,my driver's side lock freezes once in a while. of course it was like that today. i have to unlock the passenger side and unlock it from the inside.
well,today after i managed to get my driver's side door open,it wouldn't SHUT. wouldn't latch,whatever. i took a look at it to see if i could figure out the problem but with the wind today it's brutally cold so i didn't try for long. i ended up locking my door from the inside just to keep it closed and drove to the store. when i got there,i was able to get it to close,somehow. when i came back out,i couldn't unlock it from outside OR inside,so i had to crawl in over the passenger's side,over the shift which makes it damned difficult even if i have short legs and then you have to crawl underneath the automatic seatbelts. had to do that to get out when i got home.
i finally got the key to totally unlock the door...i kind of forced it. i'm wondering what the hell i would do if both my doors froze and i couldnt unlock either. does anyone know of a way to prevent this? i can envision trying to force the lock and breaking something...i still don't know why it wouldn't latch at first...and then having to spend more money and time i don't have having it fixed. and it sends me into a downward spiral of thinking of everything that depresses or worries me and arriving at the conclusion that my life totally sucks.that's how my brain usually works and i hate it. i wonder what my brain would do if i didn't have any problems to worry about? but no one has no worries,do they,so why even speculate....
well,on the better news front
my sister came over today and we went out for lunch. she wanted pizza and i didn't so we went to an italian place that has pizza and pasta and sandwiches. she ended up getting stuffed shells and garlic bread and i had a tuna sub. doesn't sound exciting but i like tuna sandwiches.
we had a great time because we always have a million things to talk about. we were going to go for a walk because it was nice and sunny but we didn't because it's really bitterly cold,and it must be pretty bad because it's the end of winter and we're used to it.
we were going to rent a video or dvd but we couldn't find anything we wanted to see so we came back home and watched my u2 best 90-2000 video dvd,which was great and it was twice the fun watching it with her.
so up until the car door incident,i was having a pretty good day. except i forgot to make a few phone calls but i did remember one.another one i remembered but it was too late in the day and a third i can't even remember what it was at the moment! ack.
however,i had a small moment of triumph. my sister wanted to know how to open the hood of her car and i found the latch thingie inside and then,with much difficulty,though i knew it had to be there,i found the latch under the hood.she said the salesman had the same problem. so i'm not entirely useless. ha ha. just extremely unstable sometimes.
much of the time,i can't deal with the littlest things going wrong.so many things feel like the last straw. and i use any excuse to eat too much sugar. because i need to stop feeling upset. because i can't stand feeling upset or off-kilter or whatever...my equilibrium is so easily disturbed.i dont understand why,but that's how it is.
i had a blast with my sister,but after several hours,i found myself wanting her to go home,which is really weird,but i felt the need to be alone and regroup,so to speak. i need stability somewhere to survive the tropical storms and hurricanes that whirl around my brain so often. so i seek stability in my daily life,in routines,in keeping things low key. though once in a while i do thrive on something different,as long as it's not too much.
i often joke around that i'm a 'delicate flower'. i certainly don't appear weak and delicate in a physical sense. but in a mental and emotional sense,i'm metaphorically fainting all the time and needing to be revived. as usual,i don't know if that makes sense. just ruminating...