bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2002-07-10 12:40 am
bluegreen17) wrote2002-07-10 12:40 am
what do i have to offer?
if i had alcoholic tendencies,i would be now busily drinking myself to death.so maybe i'm lucky that i'm just eating too much sugar (though that can be almost as bad,except at least it's not dangerous to other people) and desperately seeking a psychiatrist who will prescribe dexedrine to me soon,because i'm sliding further and further into doom.
all because i don't belong in this world and haven't found a way to work with what i've got...but maybe it's still not too late.
well,i guess if one were optimistic,which i am every once in a while,one could say this is all one hell of an adventure.being all too aware in a world of drones...
i guess using the word 'drones' is rather insulting. it's not other people's fault that they are happy with a simple life and are not available to amuse me. in fact,more power to them,as long as they are not the drones that are inconsiderate of others. i guess i could use the term 'farmers' that thom hartmann uses,as opposed to drones,which has mean connotations.
a couple of other terms he uses is 'lookouts' for those whose minds are all over the place,and 'cultivators' for those who tend to day to day business and keep the world going.
i think we need both in the world.
i just wish my looking out tendencies were more lucrative moneywise. then i could afford to hire someone who doesn't hate it,to clean my apartment. i do know there are people who LIKE to clean.
i've long felt that my time is wasted doing domestic chores. i've sometimes wished i could get into doing such things,as it sure would be nice to have an orderly place to live. either that or hook up with someone who likes doing that stuff...but what do i have to offer in exchange?
all because i don't belong in this world and haven't found a way to work with what i've got...but maybe it's still not too late.
well,i guess if one were optimistic,which i am every once in a while,one could say this is all one hell of an adventure.being all too aware in a world of drones...
i guess using the word 'drones' is rather insulting. it's not other people's fault that they are happy with a simple life and are not available to amuse me. in fact,more power to them,as long as they are not the drones that are inconsiderate of others. i guess i could use the term 'farmers' that thom hartmann uses,as opposed to drones,which has mean connotations.
a couple of other terms he uses is 'lookouts' for those whose minds are all over the place,and 'cultivators' for those who tend to day to day business and keep the world going.
i think we need both in the world.
i just wish my looking out tendencies were more lucrative moneywise. then i could afford to hire someone who doesn't hate it,to clean my apartment. i do know there are people who LIKE to clean.
i've long felt that my time is wasted doing domestic chores. i've sometimes wished i could get into doing such things,as it sure would be nice to have an orderly place to live. either that or hook up with someone who likes doing that stuff...but what do i have to offer in exchange?
no subject
Do you think these so-called "drones" are happy with their jobs?
I guarantee you most of them ain't... I hear more people complain about their jobs than not.
Be careful with separating yourself from the entire human race... I was never more miserable than when I used to lock myself up in my room and pretend that the world began and ended with the thoughts in my head. Blah!
Get active... Jog... Go to coffee shops and write things in books...
People will come, Ray... People will most definitely come...
no subject
anyhow,i hear what you're saying,and well,i guess you're right about the 'drones'. in fact,many people in general seem to be unhappy,which certainly doesn't make me feel better.
it's hard for me to get out and do anything,because in fact i don't have enough money and also have no time,and it's only probably going to get worse,because pretty soon my extra money is going to run out and i'll have to get a second job.you'd think i'd meet people at my job,which is in a large bookstore,but that ain't happenin' either. and a second job would probably be people even more unlike me.i dont' want to isolate myself,but i'm also miserable being with people who only talk about redecorating their houses or the latest tom cruise flick or their kids (i'm polite to a certain point and listen,but other people's kids are not that interesting to me,unless i know the kids personally)
i'm trying really hard to get out of this mental rut i'm in,but i dont' seem to be having much success.i'm getting too desperate to patiently go for the spiritual meditative approach anymore and i'm probably making a mistake to just go for stimulant drugs if i can get them for a.d.d.
sorry,i'm having a very low self esteem moment!
thanks for your thoughts!
Re:
I know exactly what you're saying about people with their inane banter and their seemingly-silly concerns, etc., etc... But I'm really trying to treat people with more respect these days, as these negative thought cycles tend to promote negative self-images and just general negativity... No fun.
Be good! I'm not saying you have to be some "Up With People" Self-Help freak... I'm just saying that negativity generally breeds negativity... But I'm sure I'm just preaching to the choir here.... You'll be fine. : )