bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2002-07-11 06:29 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2002-07-11 06:29 pm
home alone-better than some other alternatives
i called in sick today. i'm not really sick,at least not physically.
am i depressed? yes,a bit. i'm lonely and somewhat depressed much of the time. but really,i've been much more depressed than i am today.
so why did i stay home? a lot of small reasons. i also think i'm somewhat apathetic these days and that's from depression/frustration/anger/whatever.
probably the biggest factor was that my mom is away for the evening. but i've stayed home lots of days just to be alone. the thing is,it's almost the ONLY way for me to be alone these days since mom doesn't work and doesn't go out much. it's funny,i really crave alone time and yet i'm lonely. i kind of think though if there was someone i really loved being with at work,i would go. but there isn't. not that there aren't people i LIKE there,but no one i really am very motivated to show up for. even a bit of a crush would do,and boy do i miss having a crush on someone,even though sometimes it has its upsetting aspects.
am i depressed? yes,a bit. i'm lonely and somewhat depressed much of the time. but really,i've been much more depressed than i am today.
so why did i stay home? a lot of small reasons. i also think i'm somewhat apathetic these days and that's from depression/frustration/anger/whatever.
probably the biggest factor was that my mom is away for the evening. but i've stayed home lots of days just to be alone. the thing is,it's almost the ONLY way for me to be alone these days since mom doesn't work and doesn't go out much. it's funny,i really crave alone time and yet i'm lonely. i kind of think though if there was someone i really loved being with at work,i would go. but there isn't. not that there aren't people i LIKE there,but no one i really am very motivated to show up for. even a bit of a crush would do,and boy do i miss having a crush on someone,even though sometimes it has its upsetting aspects.