invisible sun

[bluegreen17]

Truth is within ourselves; it takes no rise
From outward things, whate'er you may believe.
There is an inmost centre in us all,
Where truth abides in fulness; and around,
Wall upon wall, the gross flesh hems it in,
This perfect, clear perception - which is truth.
A baffling and perverting carnal mesh
Binds it, and makes all error: and to KNOW
Rather consists in opening out a way
Whence the imprisoned splendour may escape,
Than in effecting entry for a light
Supposed to be without.
From "Paracelsus" by Robert Browning

boredom scares the hell out of me. why? because when i get bored i encounter a lot of emotional pain that is just there.often i think that misery is my normal state and i am only happy when i am distracting myself with something i enjoy. that's why i especially hate doing chores. granted,many people don't enjoy doing dishes,laundry,vacuuming,dusting,etc etc.,but i hate it doubly.i hate the chore and i hate the misery that isnt being hidden when i do stuff i dislike.

but,i have a hunch that underneath all this misery is another layer,kept well hidden,and being buried further and further with each passing year of my life. and that underneath it all is my inner light,my innate happiness and goodness. this is what the buddhists believe...that we are naturally good. this might be why cereko ponders the contradiction that the buddists emphasize allowing your emotions and thoughts to just BE,but also promote goodness. i think it is because they believe if we just allow those emotions and thoughts to run their course,that we will find underneath that there is the natural heart of goodness. our paradise. our eden. this is what is being said in the book mindfulness in plain english

i'm not sure how or why most of us lose our paradise. according to the power of kabbalah,or at least my understanding of it,the reason we do is that we feel the need to earn it back. the hindus might say god got bored,so wanted to forget himself and refind himself in 'divine play'-lila.

the books of barry neil kaufmann say the same thing. happiness is our natural state. i've got a lot of work to do,though,to regain it.

i wish this little ponderance was flowing better,but i guess i'm not a total perfectionist and will let this go as is,choppy as it might be.

my light might be hidden most of the time,but it doesn't mean it isnt' there.

i can't help thinking a lot of the time that the son of god is the sun of god.

Comments

[sophy.livejournal.com]

that was wonderfully written, i'd say and i couldn't agree more.
i also need constant distraction.
to get through chores, i often put on really loud music that i love for further distraction.
and yes, under all of the darkness that i'm alternatley trying to work through and ignore - i also believe there is a light. sometimes, that light shines out of me. but sometimes, it's so cleverly hidden under all the gunk that i forget it's there.

thanks for the reminder. :)

[bluegreen17]

you're welcome! now i've got to put on loud music and spend a half hour brushing and flossing. (i'm very thorough!) i'm getting to have ringing in my ears these days,though,so i keep turning the music down,but then i can hardly hear it! and i haven't been to hear live music in years!

[cereko.livejournal.com]

"this is what the buddhists believe...that we are naturally good. this might be why cereko ponders the contradiction that the buddists emphasize allowing your emotions and thoughts to just BE,but also promote goodness. i think it is because they believe if we just allow those emotions and thoughts to run their course,that we will find underneath that there is the natural heart of goodness. our paradise. our eden. this is what is being said in the book mindfulness in plain english "

I'm open to the possibility that we are naturally good, bad, or neutral. (Though it would have to be contextual to a purpose since, imo, good and bad are non-existent outside the framework of purpose.)

However, to try to "promote goodness", as you say, or to initiate a state of universal loving friendliness, as Mindfulness in Plain English says, is to miss the point entirely. For if we are to realize our true state (the buddhist-believed state of natural goodness or otherwise), we have to, as you said above, "just allow those emotions and thoughts to run their course". But to adopt a general attitude of universal loving friendliness is in direct conflict with this, and therefore also in direct conflict with having us reach any insight about ourselves - good, bad, or otherwise.

Imo, acceptance is the key to awareness, and any forced state - universal loving friendliness, hatred of the unfairness of the world, whatever - is its enemy.

[(Anonymous)]

believe me, your inner light shines through brightly. it has a long way to go before it's buried so deep others don't see it. hopefully the people who care about you will point this out often so you don't lose sight of it yourself. :o) you never give yourself enough credit. :o)
pk again....

[papilleau.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the beautiful poem...and your beautiful words...

[bluegreen17]

you're welcome. thank you for reading!