bluegreen17 | another day - been renewed again

Keep your mind on the goal, and as little as possible on what's in the way. When that cannot be avoided, keep your mind on solutions, and as little as possible on the problems.
-serge kalili king

a good reminder for me. i'm not sure exactly how to DO that though. it's like not thinking of a pink elephant,so think of a blue one. maybe that's it,not to NOT think of the pink elephant,but to think of the blue. and maybe you just get better at it with practice. my mind is terribly undisciplined,methinks. do you think it's possible to train such an old dog,so to speak? i like to think it's never too late.

lately,the obstacles are coming at me fast and furious. well,supposedly you energize what you focus on,and i spend lots of time worrying about things. so maybe i need to sit myself down and think about what i want,rather than constantly trying to obliterate what i don't want.

it's very basic and obvious,i know. but i'm dense about a lot of obvious things!

i'm trying to get out of a bad depression. i started taking wellbutrin again this week because if i didn't do something,i didn't know how much longer i could keep pushing myself to go to work every day,and if i don't work...well,you know. most of us are not trust fund babies,to put it mildly.

so far,i've had three nights of insomnia-i've hardly slept-and hand tremors. i'm hoping that like last time i took the stuff,i will eventually adjust. so far i don't feel any less depressed,but i must say that picking up serge king's urban shaman again,and reading some stuff at huna.org
has made me feel a little better for the moment.
there's a lot of stuff in the book i'm not particularly interested in at this time,but it's worth it for the chapter on the seven fundamental principles alone.

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i almost wrote that i'd heard of that book but realized i had the wrong one -- there's a book about urban witchcraft i almost bought once. (urban primitive)

"so maybe i need to sit myself down and think about what i want,rather than constantly trying to obliterate what i don't want."

that strikes me as something i need to do too. i sure wish you well with the wellbutrin and overcoming the depression, diane. all the best to you!

thank you!

Funny... I just ordered a couple of shamanism related books from B&N bargain books and have been thinking about dusting off my drum and rattle. I have felt particularly disconnected and I think it is because I have not been doing very much spiritually for myself lately.

Good joss to you during the adjustment.

thanks!

...was so happy to hear you have found a little comfort in something. I know how hard and overwhelming things can get. I waited three weeks, driving around with the "Service Engine Soon" light , drove all the way to G-land today and Dad gave me money. And lo and behold, when I got in the car, the light went OFF! Just like that! But now there's a weird smell that has me worried. Ugga. I will get it checked out the week after Thanksgiving week. But at any rate, I am constantly overwhelmed. You should see my house. My brain is more of the same!

did dad ask you if you wanted any stuff he's trying to figure out what to do with?

well,i'm glad you went to visit him and got some help with your big-ticket stuff. well,hopefully the car won't be too expensive,but the tooth won't be cheap. i hope your car is going to make it here okay and safely with you?

I hope the car will make it safe too but I'm pretty sure it will. If it seems like the smell is worse or not going away I will call and try io get it in this week instead of waiting. I was sort of annoyed that Dad waited until I visited to give me money as he knew I was driving my car like that! I didn't want to go so far away... Plus, I kept trying to leav ebefore it got dark but he kept talking and pulling stuff out. The road out is awful adn it was DARK. Yes, he told me to take whatever I wanted. He still has a ton of weird crap but I took most of his old brochures from his trips in Europe as well as Miami, some postcards and a bunch of photographs. He even gave me that cube of pics he used to have on his desk of all of us- the one of you is a picture of you in a graduation gown on the stairs in the old house! I can bring it to you if you want. Most of the pics he gave me are ones from when he was in Europe. He said he's not doing anything wih them..maybe I can eventually have some in albums. I dunno.

well,that's cool that you are going to keep the stuff he got in europe. it would be a shame to just throw that stuff away.

if you think any of the photos are particularly interesting,bring it along so i'll have a peek.

another day - been renewed again

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Sounds good

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