bluegreen17 | sort of desperately seeking advice

my pilot light has gone out on my furnace and it's going to be 32 or so tonight...how cold do you think i'd get inside here? i live on the second floor in the middle unit so i have units beside me and under me (not that has seemed to help at all...i almost think they have some sort of insulation in their ceiling so the heat doesn't come up to me much,though i can hear their barking dogs quite clearly!

i don't even know if the propane company could come out here on sunday,but if they did i'd think it'd be expensive. i also dont want my pipes to freeze,but i dont think they would,would they?

and i have to call the plumber about the rumbling-noise in the water heater and i want to go see mom tomorrow and i don't know if i'll have to hang around and wait for the propane folks. and i hate being cold. doing laundry will help a little,but i dont' know how much. well,thank goodness it's not as cold as it was last week...brrr..

any advice would be appreciated.
thanks.

oh,and i haven't slept well in four nights now due to the wellbutrin,though it seems to be taking the edge of my depression a tiny bit...or maybe that's the sleep deprivation...(less sleep is often helpful for depression,though not exactly fun or something one is intentionally motivated to do.) i dont' feel really tired but i'm on speed,sort of. my anxiety is worse than usual,but again i think that's an adjustment with the wellbutrin.

so,yeah,i need to focus on the solution...or the goal.
i want to be warm and happy.
: )

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i'm not sure exactly how cold it is by you so i can't say about the pipes but i do know they CAN freeze overnight if it's cold enough. it happened to me. (it was only one pipe tho) any chance you have a nice male neighbor who might help out? or male in law? or dad? maybe relight it for you? or maybe the propane co has an emergency number you can call just to see how urgent they think it is. they might surprise you and just tell you how to relight it yourself or at least put your mind at ease. is it accessible to you or does the propane co have to do something special to get in there? i think with all those units around you, that might make it warmer, so you're right it's possible it'll be fine. i know i'm no help, just sounding it out i guess. i don't have propane, i use oil, so i'm in the dark there.
wish i knew what to do.
patti

1. good to focus on the solution. breathe. :)

2. it might be a reassurance if you had a really warm sleeping bag. I have one for camping that's rated down to 32 degrees F and it has a "mummy" hood. So if all else fails, you still would have protection against failure to sleep due to hypothermia.

3. are you living in an apartment? If so, then this is the landlord's responsibility. Call him/her. Ask for advice. He/she doesn't want the pipes frozen either.

4. See if you can light the pilot light yourself. Ask a next door neighbor. Look it up on www.howstuffworks.com. Grab a flashlight and look around in the basement. Empowerment feels good.

5. Gas and oil companies frequently have 24/7 answering service and will come out on call for just such emergencies as this. It might be expensive, but again, landlords are supposed to pay for repairs.

6. If all else fails and you have to batten down the hatches for a cold night, in order to prevent pipes from bursting you can turn the water off in the basement if you are able to find where the valve is.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

thanks for all the useful tips. i'm all set for now,as the pilot light is relit,but these are good ideas for future possibilities. i'd think it would be good to have such a sleeping bag around.

oh. cool.

No problem :)

I just asked my dad about it, and he said that you might have run out of propane. that is a fairly common cause of pilot lights going out. It might be possible for you to just go down to look at the gauge and see if the tank is empty. (Apparently it's possible for the needle to stick, and make it look like there's something in the tank when there's not, but maybe you will be able to go down and see that it's empty.) If that's the case, then you will need a propane delivery, and you will probably need to decide if you want to pay extra for the emergency delivery tonight vs. waiting.

He also said that if you are living on a 2nd floor, between two units that have heat, and if the temp is only going down to 32, then the chances of frozen pipes are very small.

I think I was rash in saying that it's the landlord's responsibility to pick up emergency heating company costs. I guess I was thinking that if they are supposed to keep the supply adequate then it was a failure to have enough routine checks that might have caused it to run out. But is one thing I don't have a lot of experience with so I would just be cautious in listening to me I guess :)

thanks for consulting with your dad on my behalf!

the goal is soul! :D

Maybe I'm ignorant, but have you spoken to your super about the heat issue? (Sorry if you've already mentioned this and I missed it)...

I'm wondering: how do you know if your meds take the edge off depression? Because I don't think I can tell with myself. I mean, I haven't cut since I've started up with the Paxil again, but I still have semi-suicidal thoughts every night. Have you noticed any differences in your day to day life?

i'm set with the heat for the time being. the pilot light is relit.

anyway,regarding the medication. it's very very subtle.

for instance,little things like the laundry being unbalanced and having a hard time getting it right can often frustrate me so much i just rage. i noticed tonight that i felt less upset about it.

also,i wonder how much it was the med that kept me from freaking out too badly over the furnace thing. hard to tell.also,i am more likely to be successful in resisting eating for emotional reasons.

last time i took it i felt like i could just get on with things that i didn't like and not get so upset about things. i wondered if that might be how 'normal' people felt. something sucky happens,you're not happy about it,but you do what you can and get over it. being depressed,everything is overwhelming to me.

last time the wellbutrin worked for me for about five months. then i suspect i developed a tolerance for it-even though supposedly that doesn't happen,but it's a stimulant-and i started feeling more depressed again.

wellbutrin is different than th other antidepressants,though. it doesn't affect serotonin levels,but rather dopamine and norephrine,from what i've read.
also,i don't get a flat effect...like not being able to feel emotions...that i've heard about from some people on prozac. i don't know how the paxil affects in that aspect.

when i've woken up the last couple of mornings,instead of being overwhelmed and then spiraling down to thinking how awful my life is,i am more likely to think that i have a lot to do and i'd better do it.
it's like,i can cope. i can do it. when i'm depressed,i can't.

i do wonder if the lack of sleep has helped too. a minor bit of sleep deprivation...like either staying up all night or just sleeping five hours or so for several days,can often affect your serotonin levels in a good way. too much sleep can make you more depressed.and the wellbutrin has given me some insomnia,which last time gradually went away. which i hope will happen again.

well,this is probably more than you wanted to know,but i just got to rambling there.

You hope your insomnia will start up again? Wow!

Yeah, now that you mention it, that's sort of how it is for me. I mean, when I'm depressed, everything has a real edge to it -- an edge that is completely subversive, hidden under layers of reality, and in opposition to living life. When I'm on Paxil, there still is tension, but my thoughts are swayed from immediately going into ruts. Yes, I'm more action-oriented when on Paxil, but things still aren't *great.*

The thing I worry the most about -- and I worry A LOT -- is that, as Morrissey has said before, it doesn't get much better than this. If this is how normal people live, then why are people even living in the first place?

oh,no,i don't like insomnia. what i meant was that it would subside like it did last time when i took this stuff.

no,antidepressants don't make you feel great,and to be honest,i think i'm a little disappointed. coffee and chocolate can make me feel good for short periods of time,and i'd imagine cocaine would too,not that i'm going to try that.

i sometimes wonder why more people don't committ suicide.but i wonder if certain things in life-identical things-cause different degrees of pain for different people. i'd imagine so. most people seem desensitized. the more sensitive people seem to hurt more,but the upside,for me anyway,is that i can at times get great joy from simple things.a sunset,the sound of a certain line in a song,a smile...it doesn't always seem enough though.

it doesn't get much better than this? oh,i don't know about that. i've been through bad times and then things got better. i've been having a hard time for quite a few years now,but i do wonder how much has to do with bad emotional habits. maybe you can 'let yourself go' mentally like a married woman physically might once she's snagged a man,if you get the idea.

i choose to envision hope for the future,but i think i know where you're coming from in worrying about that.i do lots of that too.

sort of desperately seeking advice

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thanks.

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wide awake