sitting,breathing

[bluegreen17]

i've been practicing zazen. well,i've done it for two whole days in a row,which is more meditating than i've ever done in my life.

i've always thought that i 'should' meditate, because it seems to be important in so many spiritual systems. but i've never been able to get myself to do it. i'm the queen of trying-to-escape-and-being-terrified-of-boredom. i'm still doing that massively. meditating can be very boring. if i understand it right,it's supposed to be boring. perhaps boredom is that warning sign from your illusory self that you are about to find out something,and since it threatens your illusory self,it will do anything to prevent that. or quite possibly i'm just full of baloney.

i was inspired by brad warner's book hardcore zen to start doing zazen,also know simply as sitting.(i like that word zazen,though!). then i got some practical tips from another book called the complete idiot's guide to zen living it says to start with short periods of sitting and slowly increase the time. so i've been sitting staring at a blank wall for a mere five minutes the past two days. it's boring,but at only five minutes,it's not too bad. i set the timer on the stove so i'm not constantly checking,which would defeat the purpose of doing it. i'm not really sure if i'm doing it 'right'.i'm trying to 'be in the moment' while doing it. it was suggested to notice what you are seeing,hearing,smelling and feeling in the moment for mindfulness in general,so i tried that. of course i'm not seeing much looking at a blank wall,though there's a lot in my peripheral vision. and i'm not really sure i'm supposed to do this anyway. i tried counting my breath,but if i'm counting my breath,i'm not really being in the moment,am i? i don't know. i know breathing is really important. (just try NOT doing it.) i know,like most people,i generally shallow breathe,though i haven't figured out how or why people end up doing that if it's not 'natural'. at what age do we start to shallow breathe? so when i try to breathe better,i feel like it's too much work. plus,if we all breathed like we're 'supposed to',wouldn't it be rather noisy? ha. as if the world isn't incredibly noisy as it is,so i guess that's a dumb thing to say.

well,just thought i'd let you all know about what i've been doing. breathing. sitting. and a few others things,like living vicariously through watching too many movies. there's my escaping reality/boredom tendency right there. and that may be a subject for another post or it might not.

Comments

[danielgreyman.livejournal.com]

Counting breaths is the most effective way I know to start Zen meditation. Sitting in a relaxed position, breath in-count one, breath out-count two....continue until you get to ten, then start all over again. This way, you have to concentrate or you'll find yourself in the teens and wondering where the heck ten went. This shows that you're not in the moment. I've been amazed how often my mind will let me continue counting while balancing my checkbook or pondering on my loved ones. I've also been caught thinking up journal entries and forgetting to count at all. This is the way our mind traps us. It's a powerful machine, but can easily get away with us. Remember, if you feel yourself getting bored, frustrated or pissed off at yourself because you can't get to ten without distraction, take a deep, cleansing breath and start at one again.
Eventually, when you've gotten to the point of counting in continuous cycles without having a problem or tripping over your mind, then you can switch. Breath in and out-count one, Breath in and out-count two...so on and so on until you get to ten, then start over again. As before, if something goes wrong, don't get upset or frustrated, just start again at one. Remember, this is something you do for yourself so there's no reason to get upset over it. Eventually, you will become so focused on the now that you won't need tricks like counting. However, I've been doing zazen for about a year now and I still need it.
I applaud your taking this route and wish you all the best. I've had some wonderful sessions where, afterward, I've gone home to my girlfriend and she's constantly asked me what's wrong. She says I've got this sleepy-almost goofy look on my face. I tell her that's the look of being quiet and content. She replies, "oh, that's why it seems so odd to me."

[bluegreen17]

thanks for the tips.that sounds pretty straightforward and simple to do,though not easy,which is different! i wasn't sure where to start,so that really helps.

[silverwraith.livejournal.com]

I use movies to escape all the damn time. it's probably a good thing that I recognize this trait in myself, but not such a good thing that I enjoy the escape process and have no inclination to change it.

[gwferguson.livejournal.com]

Oh, how weird! I just finished reading Hardcore Zen and noticed another LJ friend was reading it!

Ahh, the basic interconnectedness of all things!

[bluegreen17]

how very...zen. as dr. bronner says 'all one! dilute! dilute!'

[(Anonymous)]

i would say that's quite an acomplishment because i find it hard to sit still for two minutes without feeling guilty! i can see where it would benefit a person to do so though.
pk

Hi there!

[yayhappens.livejournal.com]

Hi there. I hope you don't mind me popping over. I was reading this entry which caught my eye. I think meditation is so awesome!

Quick question...when you are past the point of counting breathing, at what point of the meditation to you attempt to clear your mind of all throught completely? Is it when you're focusing on something such as the wall or is this a completely different meditation altogether?