bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2004-01-21 04:34 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2004-01-21 04:34 pm
redsparkle's believe-it-or-not
so.
in some ways,i've been doing pretty well. i have had trouble getting out of bed a couple of times in the past two weeks,resulting in being an hour late for work.i made up the hours last week,and hope to this week as well.am i lazy,tired,or depressed,or all three? i don't really know for sure,but anyhow...usually once i get myself out of bed i'm okay.i had trouble sleeping last night...i woke up very early with the same headache i went to bed with.i get very occasional headaches,but usually they are gone by morning. so i am a bit concerned and don't want a sinus infection and hope i don't already have one. so i'm taking some colloidal silver,for a natural antibiotic just in case. the cool thing is,it doesn't kill off the good intestinal bacteria like prescription antiobiotics do.
as i said,though,i think overall i'm doing pretty well. i've been reading bits of eckhart tolle's books-'the power of now' and 'practicing the power of now'. i also have a few tapes of his lectures. i've been listening to those more than reading the books,which is odd for me because i usually don't like to listen to stuff on tape. his tapes are calming,though,and i like that. i've also been doing my zazen sitting meditation every day now and though i don't think i'm now enlightened (actually everyone already IS,but that's another whole way of looking at things),i think it's been good for me.it's boring,of course,but also restful.
i am a bit concerned about a couple of things,though. i've been eating tons of sugar. my last pms was really really extreme as far as sugar cravings go,and i'm still on a roll. i'm trying,but...i'm still using food for my comfort. i'm only on step one of being able to do anything about it: i'm aware i'm 'using'. secondly,i've been coming home from work,washing my dishes,brushing and flossing,and then sitting down and watching videos. (most of the time,it's one of the ten episodes of 'band of brothers',though i have my favorites and watch some more than others. there's so much going on that i notice something new every time.) i'm not especially concerned in the sense that i do go through 'phases' of being a bit obsessed with a movie and watching it over and over (braveheart,titanic,field of dreams,fellowship of the ring...honestly,it's usually some actor and/or character i'm a bit enamoured with...hamish campbell,the doomed murdoch in titanic,ray's 'dad' in 'field of dreams'-though i really love the whole story- and pippin in 'fellowship'.) 'band of brothers' has lots of characters to be smitten with,so maybe that's why it's taking me longer to get over this little phase. i'm just a bit concerned with being so passive...just watching videos instead of writing/reading/interacting on the 'net,which i think is a little healthier!
well,anyway,in relation to zen and 'the power of now' stuff,it's really a matter of going with the idea that you can't really control much of what happens to you,but you can control/have free will in the area of how you react.i don't even know about that,though,because sometimes when i feel really depressed i feel totally powerless to get out of it. on the other hand,i don't totally leave out the possibility that our thoughts/vibes do affect how the universe treats us. i've had experiences on both ends of the spectrum.
all this babbling is leading up to what happened to me today.was it a good thing? a bad thing? i don't know entirely. here's what happened:
i had a rather scary but in other ways quite interesting...almost amazing,thing happen to me today. i was driving to work,listening to one of eckhart tolle's tapes.i find i'm calmer driving than when i'm listening to music. at one point,someone signalled to get into my lane,and with no traffic immediately behind me,i was able to let him. he/she rolled down their window and gave a wave of thanks,which i thought was nice since i didn't expect it and it's a cold day to roll down your window! so,that's cool. i'm driving down the four-lane busy road,in the left-hand lane as usual,as i'm not turning off but going straight into the city. i hear this funny sound,and think that my tape deck is not feeling too healthy.i wouldn't have heard it playing loud music,but i could hear it over the spoken words. i turned off my tape deck to verify that,and the noise did not stop. seconds later,it occurred to me i'd better get off the road fast...not an easy thing to do when you're on a trafficky road in the left hand lane. it all happened so fast...i looked to my right and i had time to get into the right lane easily. i then looked further and saw a place to turn in,which i did promptly as i felt my car quickly dying on me. well,the engine anyway. as i docked in the parking lot of a bowling alley,my car flashed it's 'check engine' light and stopped.(the tow truck guy thought it was probably my timing belt,which it probably is,but i can't believe i got so little warning of it 'going'.)
it's really scary to think of that happening some other way. with no lane and then parking lot to turn into. it really sucks that i had to get my car towed,that i have to pay part of the towing because it was more than five miles from the garage i go to,and who knows how much the repair will cost me,and my finances have been very...uh...interesting the last couple of years since my mom got sick and stopped working and couldn't pay half of everything anymore. it sucks that i'm missing work because i'm going on vacation next week,and we are shorthanded and i will probably arrive back to a huge mess because i've got hardly any trained help. it sucks for my bosses and co-workers too.
BUT.it could have happened on one of these bitterly cold nights we've been having. i neglected to charge my cellphone (which i only have for exactly these kinds of emergencies...duh..that'll teach me,maybe.i hate cellphones) so i had to go into the bowling alley and use the payphone.
my car could have died in the left-hand lane,and caused a multiple-car accident. (that's not a good thing,but i ALSO don't have collision insurance,because it's too expensive.i just have liability.)
i can't help thinking that i may very well have inherited my mother's car angels...it's a family joke.when mom stopped driving,i got 'em because of the three sisters who drive (one doesn't because she has epilepsy),i'm the most nervous driver. it's amazing to me how all those spaces were there where/when i needed them ...and if i hadn't have let that driver in front of me,i would have been in a different place when this happened,probably.
yeah,it may just have been incredibly good luck.but it's nice to think that maybe i had some good karma coming to me,and/or i do have guardian angels. who knows for sure?
in some ways,i've been doing pretty well. i have had trouble getting out of bed a couple of times in the past two weeks,resulting in being an hour late for work.i made up the hours last week,and hope to this week as well.am i lazy,tired,or depressed,or all three? i don't really know for sure,but anyhow...usually once i get myself out of bed i'm okay.i had trouble sleeping last night...i woke up very early with the same headache i went to bed with.i get very occasional headaches,but usually they are gone by morning. so i am a bit concerned and don't want a sinus infection and hope i don't already have one. so i'm taking some colloidal silver,for a natural antibiotic just in case. the cool thing is,it doesn't kill off the good intestinal bacteria like prescription antiobiotics do.
as i said,though,i think overall i'm doing pretty well. i've been reading bits of eckhart tolle's books-'the power of now' and 'practicing the power of now'. i also have a few tapes of his lectures. i've been listening to those more than reading the books,which is odd for me because i usually don't like to listen to stuff on tape. his tapes are calming,though,and i like that. i've also been doing my zazen sitting meditation every day now and though i don't think i'm now enlightened (actually everyone already IS,but that's another whole way of looking at things),i think it's been good for me.it's boring,of course,but also restful.
i am a bit concerned about a couple of things,though. i've been eating tons of sugar. my last pms was really really extreme as far as sugar cravings go,and i'm still on a roll. i'm trying,but...i'm still using food for my comfort. i'm only on step one of being able to do anything about it: i'm aware i'm 'using'. secondly,i've been coming home from work,washing my dishes,brushing and flossing,and then sitting down and watching videos. (most of the time,it's one of the ten episodes of 'band of brothers',though i have my favorites and watch some more than others. there's so much going on that i notice something new every time.) i'm not especially concerned in the sense that i do go through 'phases' of being a bit obsessed with a movie and watching it over and over (braveheart,titanic,field of dreams,fellowship of the ring...honestly,it's usually some actor and/or character i'm a bit enamoured with...hamish campbell,the doomed murdoch in titanic,ray's 'dad' in 'field of dreams'-though i really love the whole story- and pippin in 'fellowship'.) 'band of brothers' has lots of characters to be smitten with,so maybe that's why it's taking me longer to get over this little phase. i'm just a bit concerned with being so passive...just watching videos instead of writing/reading/interacting on the 'net,which i think is a little healthier!
well,anyway,in relation to zen and 'the power of now' stuff,it's really a matter of going with the idea that you can't really control much of what happens to you,but you can control/have free will in the area of how you react.i don't even know about that,though,because sometimes when i feel really depressed i feel totally powerless to get out of it. on the other hand,i don't totally leave out the possibility that our thoughts/vibes do affect how the universe treats us. i've had experiences on both ends of the spectrum.
all this babbling is leading up to what happened to me today.was it a good thing? a bad thing? i don't know entirely. here's what happened:
i had a rather scary but in other ways quite interesting...almost amazing,thing happen to me today. i was driving to work,listening to one of eckhart tolle's tapes.i find i'm calmer driving than when i'm listening to music. at one point,someone signalled to get into my lane,and with no traffic immediately behind me,i was able to let him. he/she rolled down their window and gave a wave of thanks,which i thought was nice since i didn't expect it and it's a cold day to roll down your window! so,that's cool. i'm driving down the four-lane busy road,in the left-hand lane as usual,as i'm not turning off but going straight into the city. i hear this funny sound,and think that my tape deck is not feeling too healthy.i wouldn't have heard it playing loud music,but i could hear it over the spoken words. i turned off my tape deck to verify that,and the noise did not stop. seconds later,it occurred to me i'd better get off the road fast...not an easy thing to do when you're on a trafficky road in the left hand lane. it all happened so fast...i looked to my right and i had time to get into the right lane easily. i then looked further and saw a place to turn in,which i did promptly as i felt my car quickly dying on me. well,the engine anyway. as i docked in the parking lot of a bowling alley,my car flashed it's 'check engine' light and stopped.(the tow truck guy thought it was probably my timing belt,which it probably is,but i can't believe i got so little warning of it 'going'.)
it's really scary to think of that happening some other way. with no lane and then parking lot to turn into. it really sucks that i had to get my car towed,that i have to pay part of the towing because it was more than five miles from the garage i go to,and who knows how much the repair will cost me,and my finances have been very...uh...interesting the last couple of years since my mom got sick and stopped working and couldn't pay half of everything anymore. it sucks that i'm missing work because i'm going on vacation next week,and we are shorthanded and i will probably arrive back to a huge mess because i've got hardly any trained help. it sucks for my bosses and co-workers too.
BUT.it could have happened on one of these bitterly cold nights we've been having. i neglected to charge my cellphone (which i only have for exactly these kinds of emergencies...duh..that'll teach me,maybe.i hate cellphones) so i had to go into the bowling alley and use the payphone.
my car could have died in the left-hand lane,and caused a multiple-car accident. (that's not a good thing,but i ALSO don't have collision insurance,because it's too expensive.i just have liability.)
i can't help thinking that i may very well have inherited my mother's car angels...it's a family joke.when mom stopped driving,i got 'em because of the three sisters who drive (one doesn't because she has epilepsy),i'm the most nervous driver. it's amazing to me how all those spaces were there where/when i needed them ...and if i hadn't have let that driver in front of me,i would have been in a different place when this happened,probably.
yeah,it may just have been incredibly good luck.but it's nice to think that maybe i had some good karma coming to me,and/or i do have guardian angels. who knows for sure?
no subject
(Anonymous) 2004-01-22 09:28 am (UTC)(link)seriously, i'm glad i came here to check on you. the last few times i've been by there was no word and i was starting to worry. stay warm and stay safe. *hug*
pk
Hi!
I hope you're feeling better and not getting a sinus infection; I just got over one so I can commiserate.
Stay warm! xoxo
cold!
so you haven't seen tom hardy in that episode ten but you wish you could? i don't think he has a big part...i vaguely remember him,because someone else mentioned they liked him. i'll have to rewatch and let you know. do you have a good video store nearby? i saw them first as a rental,because i don't have hbo. they may be on other channels eventually too. i saw tom hardy in that star trek movie,but of course he looked kind of funny in that (and not really like a young picard...what were they thinking? all bald-headed men look alike? i think not!)
ah,orlando bloom has the most beautiful eyes. he's on all the teen magazines i put out on the shelf,so i see his visage often (and hardly mind...much nicer than jennifer lopez and i used to like ben affleck,but...not too much anymore). he was on the cover of last month's gq. did you see johnny depp in 'don juan demarco'? i really liked that movie,and if you like johnny,you'd like that. so,yes,i understand!
oh,and orlando is in 'blackhawk down' which is very good though quite disturbing,being true.i like ewan mcgregor's little coffee-brewing role. well,he does go on the mission too. and orlando's part isn't very large in that...he falls out of the copter right off so he's got a broken back,so he doesn't do much more after that.
so i'm babbling now and i'm off to visit my pennsylvania sister,who's in town at her in-laws visiting,soon,so i'd better skedaddle.
Re: cold!
I agree that the "young" Picard really looks nothing like the "old" Picard. They really had to put a lot of make up on Tom to get him close, but it's not 100% convincing to me. That whole movie was kind of a disappointment, sad. Oh well.
The only other movies I've seen Johnny Depp in were, What's eating Gilbert Grape and Edward Scissor Hands. I'll have to rent Don Juan Demarco, if you say it's good I'll believe you.
I didn't know Orlando was in Black Hawk Down! I just got that movie for Christmas too. I'll have to watch it again just to see him, even if he only has a small role. I loved Ewan's role too, well, I just plain love Ewan anyway. :)
Have a fun visit with your family! xoxo