bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2004-03-13 01:25 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2004-03-13 01:25 pm
morrissey and i were holding hands when.../elegy
the phone rang and i was rudely awakened. ah,well,it was sweet while it lasted. in my dream,morrissey had freckles,and i don't know if he has freckles in real life,but i like freckles.
so anyhow,it was my sister sara![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
solarfields who was calling to ask my opinion on a particular item in my mom's obituary.
mom had been sick for a little over two years. she had als,also known as lou gehrig's disease. basically,it's a wasting away of muscles. my mom first lost her speech,though it was gradual. it was sad because she loved to talk and she kept praying she'd get her voice back. it took almost a year for her to be diagnosed with als,so she didn't know that was why she was having trouble speaking and swallowing. and by the time she was diagnosed,she had developed dementia (which is fairly uncommon with als,but it does happen) and we didn't tell her that's what she had.she was a nurse and would have known quite well how she would die,and we just thought the knowledge would make her feel worse.
so mom started having trouble breathing on thursday,and they started giving her morphine to relax her. she went quickly and passed away yesterday shortly after noontime. it hits me in waves here and there,and i cry. we've been losing her for a long time,because her brain was affected and since she eventually lost the ability to speak at all and then the ability to put sentences together and write them down to communicate,we really didn't know what she could understand for quite a large part of her illness. i'm glad she went quickly and didn't suffer severely for too long. she was cared for by some wonderful people at the nursing home which is a comfort to know.
she left us,as all parents do. i'm glad that she left us each other.she loved being a mom and a grammy. she had five daughters,two sons-in-law and five grandkids.she had a really goofy sense of humor,loved to feed us and then tell us we were fat. we have lots of good memories with her. she was a good person and she loved us and we loved her,and we will miss her.
now i envision her having a grand old time in heaven with all those crazy and funny french-canadian-american (and uncle eddie,who moved back to canada!) relatives who have gone on ahead of us.
so anyhow,it was my sister sara
solarfields who was calling to ask my opinion on a particular item in my mom's obituary.mom had been sick for a little over two years. she had als,also known as lou gehrig's disease. basically,it's a wasting away of muscles. my mom first lost her speech,though it was gradual. it was sad because she loved to talk and she kept praying she'd get her voice back. it took almost a year for her to be diagnosed with als,so she didn't know that was why she was having trouble speaking and swallowing. and by the time she was diagnosed,she had developed dementia (which is fairly uncommon with als,but it does happen) and we didn't tell her that's what she had.she was a nurse and would have known quite well how she would die,and we just thought the knowledge would make her feel worse.
so mom started having trouble breathing on thursday,and they started giving her morphine to relax her. she went quickly and passed away yesterday shortly after noontime. it hits me in waves here and there,and i cry. we've been losing her for a long time,because her brain was affected and since she eventually lost the ability to speak at all and then the ability to put sentences together and write them down to communicate,we really didn't know what she could understand for quite a large part of her illness. i'm glad she went quickly and didn't suffer severely for too long. she was cared for by some wonderful people at the nursing home which is a comfort to know.
she left us,as all parents do. i'm glad that she left us each other.she loved being a mom and a grammy. she had five daughters,two sons-in-law and five grandkids.she had a really goofy sense of humor,loved to feed us and then tell us we were fat. we have lots of good memories with her. she was a good person and she loved us and we loved her,and we will miss her.
now i envision her having a grand old time in heaven with all those crazy and funny french-canadian-american (and uncle eddie,who moved back to canada!) relatives who have gone on ahead of us.
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i'm glad that she left us each other.
This makes me think of the time when my own mother will die, and me being an only child, and her father having died, and her not having a relationship with her mom. Who will remember her other than me? But I've just remembered her 5 half sisters/brother, though only one or two have been close to her. I guess that's what friends are for in life, too.
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:peace:
Well I never!
Okay I'm being facetious. It suddenly seems okay to have a sense of humor again now that Mom is no longer wasting away. Love you,
Sara
Re: Well I never!
ha.i think it might simply be i've been on lj longer,and swap comments with people from way back,plus i friend a lot of people i find interesting,and they kindly friend me back and so then they spotted this on their friends page. or maybe it's just because i'm more wonderful than you,but i don't think so!
; p
these are grave times. grave times call for humor. i remember our cousin david cracking this joke at deenie's funeral:
all those people in the cemetary are dead.
or something like that.
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I'm thinking of you and your family.
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and now,if there's an afterlife,she's in a much much better place,and i feel like i can communicate with her again,because she doesn't have the barrier,the cloud of an obscuring mind. i hope i have a nice 'dream visit' with her soon. thank you for your thoughts and hugs.
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