bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2004-07-19 08:58 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2004-07-19 08:58 pm
happy music?
today i wrote a note and copied it for myself to remind myself of this:
i sometimes try to do that.(not complain). usually,within five minutes or so,a fresh complaint pops out.i'd like to be that way,because a lot of my favorite spiritual books and ideas talk about that. so perhaps i will keep experimenting.
i had an interesting thought today,though,that made me smile.since childhood,i've been trying to be 'good' (not that i'm actually bad. my mom said i wasn't bad,just 'naughty'.) i've been reading a 'bartholomew' book which is one of those channeled books.he/she/whatever talks about just accepting yourself completely. so my thought was,what if i'm grouchy and it's still okay? it's okay to be grouchy? what a revelation. the funny thing is,i think if i stopped trying so hard not to complain,and allowed myself to just be whatever,i would just naturally complain less. part of the reason i complain is because i'm unhappy and part of the reason i'm unhappy is because i think there's something wrong or bad about me,so if i accept and love myself as is...then i'm not unhappy,so i'm unlikely to complain. wow.
well,it sounds good anyway. we'll see if it'll help when i'm feeling depressed. i've had a good day today. it's been lovely. it would be nice to have days like this more often.
i remember writing something very similar to myself three or four years ago...something like-'when i'm depressed,it's a reminder that i'm not being nice to myself'. then,however,reading it when i WAS depressed didn't help.i wonder what,other than time,can really help when one is depressed. other than stimulants like wellbutrin (before i developed a tolerance for it,unfortunately),and chocolate or caffeine,i don't know of any surefire way to pick up my moods.having something good happen sure helps,but generally i am not able to make those good things happen. but i still intend to change that--learn how to make good things happen,that is.
and speaking of moods,when i'm in a good mood,i want happy music to listen to,and i can't find much. i own some wonderful cds,but very few are what i'd call 'happy',exuberant music. funnily enough,some of the happiest music i can think of is by the cure--'friday i'm in love','lovecats','just like heaven','inbetween days'. the cure have a reputation for being really gloomy. well,they are that too. the album 'faith' is really really gloomy,for instance.
ANYHOW...does anyone have any recommendations for some happy music to listen to?
edit 7/25/04
sadly,my 'theory' does not stand up to the acid test of my very frequent episodes of depression. oh,well.
i sometimes try to do that.(not complain). usually,within five minutes or so,a fresh complaint pops out.i'd like to be that way,because a lot of my favorite spiritual books and ideas talk about that. so perhaps i will keep experimenting.
i had an interesting thought today,though,that made me smile.since childhood,i've been trying to be 'good' (not that i'm actually bad. my mom said i wasn't bad,just 'naughty'.) i've been reading a 'bartholomew' book which is one of those channeled books.he/she/whatever talks about just accepting yourself completely. so my thought was,what if i'm grouchy and it's still okay? it's okay to be grouchy? what a revelation. the funny thing is,i think if i stopped trying so hard not to complain,and allowed myself to just be whatever,i would just naturally complain less. part of the reason i complain is because i'm unhappy and part of the reason i'm unhappy is because i think there's something wrong or bad about me,so if i accept and love myself as is...then i'm not unhappy,so i'm unlikely to complain. wow.
well,it sounds good anyway. we'll see if it'll help when i'm feeling depressed. i've had a good day today. it's been lovely. it would be nice to have days like this more often.
i remember writing something very similar to myself three or four years ago...something like-'when i'm depressed,it's a reminder that i'm not being nice to myself'. then,however,reading it when i WAS depressed didn't help.i wonder what,other than time,can really help when one is depressed. other than stimulants like wellbutrin (before i developed a tolerance for it,unfortunately),and chocolate or caffeine,i don't know of any surefire way to pick up my moods.having something good happen sure helps,but generally i am not able to make those good things happen. but i still intend to change that--learn how to make good things happen,that is.
and speaking of moods,when i'm in a good mood,i want happy music to listen to,and i can't find much. i own some wonderful cds,but very few are what i'd call 'happy',exuberant music. funnily enough,some of the happiest music i can think of is by the cure--'friday i'm in love','lovecats','just like heaven','inbetween days'. the cure have a reputation for being really gloomy. well,they are that too. the album 'faith' is really really gloomy,for instance.
ANYHOW...does anyone have any recommendations for some happy music to listen to?
edit 7/25/04
sadly,my 'theory' does not stand up to the acid test of my very frequent episodes of depression. oh,well.
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Well, as for happy music.. some B-52s, "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina & the Waves, hmmm.... Madonna's "Ray of Light"? I'm coming up short here too.
Check out my icon! :P
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speaking of which,i'm inspired to do some small art projects,which is really something. i used to do little things,like make my own valentines and christmas cards.
basically,i want to do collagey stuff. we'll see.
don't worry that the cd you made for me is gloomy.i don't want to listen to happy music all the time anyway! to be honest,i haven't listened to my new one a lot yet,but i will,because i very much enjoy the 'imagine moses try' one you made for me and have gotten to love a whole bunch of new songs because of that. so the same thing will probably happen when i listen to the new one more. anyway,it's not all gloomy...'let's go fly a kite' is one great happy song! and even though i think of funerals when listening to 'morning is broken',it is really a life-affirming song...about new life,which is what funerals are all about,strangely enough. you know,seeing people off at the dock and watching them sail away to the elysian fields or into the west,where paradise is.
i'm doing the meeting thing tomorrow,so i'm getting up around 5:30 a.m. i had to dig up my alarm clock,which was all dusty! i tried to acclimate myself by getting up at 7 yesterday morning and going to bed at midnight,but then i didn't wake up until almost nine this morning because i was so tired after a night with just six hours the day before!i think i feel more tired tossing and turning,so i'm going to go to bed at 11:30 tonight,which will at least give me six hours if i sleep. anyway...i bought myself a turkey and cheese sub so at least i can have something extra yummy(i'm getting hooked on subs) and substantial for breakfast. i've been eating breakfast as a regular hearty meal for years. if i eat stuff like donuts or pop tarts or sugary stuff for breakfast,i will feel ravenously hungry all day,so i haven't done that in years. i eat donuts and poptarts occasionally as desserts!
anyhow. oh,and i baked myself some chocolate chip cookies today. not from scratch,but one of those tollhouse refrigerated rolls. of course i ate a bit of cookie dough too! and i was very clever and economical because i baked the cookies in the oven at the same time i was heating up my frozen dinner.
brilliant,i must say.
anyway,must prepare myself to start winding down soon...ta ta for now!
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thanks for letting me know what the collage said.nice and mysterious.
i'm crankier today. must remember to love myself anyhow!
the other day i was on an idea high. i had all these ideas about being creative. but in fact i really don't like doing artsy things most of the time,and i don't really think i have artistic talent, and that disappoints me,strangely. because i'd love to send beautiful stuff to my family and friends. i'm more of an appreciator of art. so i need to find a way to appreciate myself for what i'm good at,but i find it hard to even explain what i'm good at. i'm not sure HOW or what to do with the enjoyment of finding and sharing the beauty that i find.
ah,well,just thinking aloud.