bluegreen17 | (no subject)

I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing Light of your own Being.

-Hafiz

i just stumbled upon this today,and it is very wonderful to read.

right now i'm in this place that doesn't feel good. eating makes me sick,and so i'm being especially careful about what i eat. which makes me depressed,because honestly i think i get a lot of my good moods directly from the chemicals in chocolate. so....in order to feel good mentally,i feel i need the chocolate. but if i eat the chocolate,i could end up being horribly sick. i've had the equivalent of tomaine-poisoning (which is awful,awful,awful) about once a week for the past few weeks. i've stopped drinking coffee,which i miss.

i don't know what the hell is up with this,and ran out of options medically for this type of problem.

i'm pretty pissed off and discouraged and ready to give up on all the good stuff that seems to have helped me stay in a better place mentally for quite a while. it gave me hope. but now it seems all that hope is just mocking me. i wish my therapist hadn't moved away. i didn't even go to see her that often,but i feel like she is someone who could help me with this. oh,well. that's just how i'm feeling right now.

at least today was a gorgeous,gorgeous,heavenly day weather wise...83 degrees,low humidity and a nice friendly breeze. at least that's something.
and in my temporary (i hope!) misery,i shine on,unbeknownst to myself,but appreciated by hafiz--bless him!

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oh dear! do they know what causes this food-poisoning thing? i'm so sorry you're having to put up with that! (i don't know what you mean quite, but could it be colitis? have they ruled that kind of thing out?)

well,it looks like it may have been a virus,but i'm still experimenting with my eating habits. i'm eating less food,which is not a bad thing,because i'd acquired a vigorous sugar habit and a few more pounds than i'd prefer.

i may go see the nurse practioner that i like and see if maybe i should try switching to a less intense acid-reducer. it seems sometimes my food just sits there like a lead weight and i've heard sometimes with age,one's stomach acid is reduced,which in this case would be good. i wonder if there is a test to measure whether you have too much or too little acid? they seemed to assume it was always too much but too little can cause problems too...i'm hoping they make those tests more comfortable and more productive!

thanks for your note,vickie.

gerry had a test to measure the pH in his stomach a couple of years ago. they inserted a tube up his nose and down into his stomach, and left it there with a monitor. he had to keep a journal of all he ate, of lying down, of coughing, anything that would account for changes in pH. upshot: yes, he had too much acid. we already knew that. *g* but there is a test. maybe there's an easier one, though.

you're welcome. i hope you get your stomach all sorted out soon!

I can see you glimmering over here... keep breathing on the embers, you'll be back to glowing before you know it.

*sings* It's a long way to Temporary...

thank you for seeing me in a brighter light...it helped more than you know!

I'm sorry you're still not feeling good. If it makes you feel any better, I had a "sick headache" two Mondays in a row! What up with THAT?!

have a great feeling monday this week,okay?

oy.

my only suggestion is to practice being present and watch your moods...like if you can't feel good, at least you can detach and watch what you are feeling, become present to the moment and admire the beauty of the weather or something.

hope that helps, and hope you feel better soon

well,i just got 'inspired' to relax...i think i've just been trying too hard to be happy and that doesn't work,as you know! so i've been relaxing into that happiness that i was agitating away! and i appreciated the heavens out of the beautiful weather we had this week!

AWESOME quote!!!!

*sending many healing thoughts and hugs your way*

thank you!

meant to add i gratefully accepted the healing thoughts and hugs and am feeling much better too!

You're welcome and I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling better!!!!! :)

Have you tried alternative medecines? Not giving up on traditional completely, but sometimes somethings may work. And I love elementa's suggestion. Imagination helps a lot.

yes,i've tried that route before i did the conventional medicine thing. sometimes ginger helps. but i've found what's helping the most is relaxing and for now just eating foods that i don't think will make me sick.

and yes,imagination is an amazing and useful thing!

thanks for your note!