bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2011-03-22 08:39 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2011-03-22 08:39 pm
me and identity and fluidity
i was just watching some stuff on entertainment tv about chaz bono. i really admire her. what if you can't afford all that surgery etc. though? it just seems it's another class divide. not that chaz shouldn't have done the change because she could.
for me,a lot of things about identity have been and are fluid. i rebel on labels too much,though of course i use them. sometimes i'm asexual,according to my definition-not interested in sex,but interested in romance and love. and sometimes i feel sexual. menopause is an interesting new trip. pre menopause was a hormonal crazy time...in my forties,mother nature definitely wanted me to have babies before it was too late! ha.
having pondering things a lot,as is my nature (i'll accept the label of 'ponderer'!) i'm pretty sure i am a gay man in a woman's body. although over the years i've gotten used to having a woman's body and i'm okay with it. but i'm attracted to men but i'm a boyish gal. have never worn makeup. too much trouble. always wanted men to be attracted to me,but wasn't willing to go to a lot of trouble to alter my looks. other things always took priority,like using my brain and being kind. but biology is biology,and that doesn't get you much attention from the opposite sex. and if i was in the body of a gay man,i wouldn't be one that cared about appearance. so in many ways psychologically i'm more 'girly'. but it's all stereotypes and generalizations. there is some validity behind stereotypes,but no absolutes.
in any event,i haven't fit in in the romantic world. when i was younger,i had a lot of male friends and sometimes still feel more comfortable with them,with the way their brains are,except for the sex thing. and yeah,i know i'm generalizing. i've gotten to appreciate women more as i've gotten older. my life is really surrounded mostly by women...family is dominated by women,most of the librarians are women,and most of the people i connect with online are women. i'm on tumblr a lot and it's mostly women. i think the demographic of lj skews towards women. it's kind of funny,because in college i majored in history and there were only a handful of other female history majors,so most of my classes were filled with boys. which i enjoyed,i think. i can't remember. i think i did! ha.
well,enough musings for now. would love to hear any opinions if you'd like to share!
for me,a lot of things about identity have been and are fluid. i rebel on labels too much,though of course i use them. sometimes i'm asexual,according to my definition-not interested in sex,but interested in romance and love. and sometimes i feel sexual. menopause is an interesting new trip. pre menopause was a hormonal crazy time...in my forties,mother nature definitely wanted me to have babies before it was too late! ha.
having pondering things a lot,as is my nature (i'll accept the label of 'ponderer'!) i'm pretty sure i am a gay man in a woman's body. although over the years i've gotten used to having a woman's body and i'm okay with it. but i'm attracted to men but i'm a boyish gal. have never worn makeup. too much trouble. always wanted men to be attracted to me,but wasn't willing to go to a lot of trouble to alter my looks. other things always took priority,like using my brain and being kind. but biology is biology,and that doesn't get you much attention from the opposite sex. and if i was in the body of a gay man,i wouldn't be one that cared about appearance. so in many ways psychologically i'm more 'girly'. but it's all stereotypes and generalizations. there is some validity behind stereotypes,but no absolutes.
in any event,i haven't fit in in the romantic world. when i was younger,i had a lot of male friends and sometimes still feel more comfortable with them,with the way their brains are,except for the sex thing. and yeah,i know i'm generalizing. i've gotten to appreciate women more as i've gotten older. my life is really surrounded mostly by women...family is dominated by women,most of the librarians are women,and most of the people i connect with online are women. i'm on tumblr a lot and it's mostly women. i think the demographic of lj skews towards women. it's kind of funny,because in college i majored in history and there were only a handful of other female history majors,so most of my classes were filled with boys. which i enjoyed,i think. i can't remember. i think i did! ha.
well,enough musings for now. would love to hear any opinions if you'd like to share!