bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2011-03-30 06:09 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2011-03-30 06:09 pm
(no subject)
feeling a little better. got outside and it was nice. also had a root beer. gotta watch that...way too much sugar and bone unfriendly phosphuric acid...this is the second day in a row i bought myself a root beer.
in rereading my emails to my sister from a year ago,trying to ascertain when my mood might improve,it doesn't sound like it will improve much. i have to learn to live with my lowest moods somehow. i talked about this to my therapist yesterday. i do have to work to be able to stand some emotional pain,even if it's bad,if i don't want my life to go totally down the toilet. at my age,i don't have a lot of hope and motivation. but i will need to find some,somewhere!
anyway,i also learned that i've put 5 inches on my waist in a year! i can hardly believe it. a year ago,i gave away my size 10 clothes to my sister,because she had lost weight and needed clothes. at the time,i was still fitting into size 12s,whereas now i just fit into size 18s. well,i did have a pair of size 14 that still fit me...i get sizing is weird..but that pair,my favorite pair,wore right out. today i went to the church and got three pairs of pants for free. two are size 18,one is 16. i doubt the 16 will fit,but who knows? also,having gained 5 inches i only gained ten pounds! and i think it is because i have been so inactive i lost my muscle weight,which is not good weight to lose. so i really need to get out of bed and off the couch and do some walking. not sure how i will motivate myself yet. today i decide to motivate myself to at least be on my feet for a while by browsing in the library. i went to the library in the next town over, and got two woody allen movies. annie hall,which i've seen,but i love it and i adore diane keaton anyway. and i got vicky barcelona or whatever that one is. i just watched 'the other boleyn girl' and i thought scarlet johansenn was really good in that,as was eric bana. i was surprised i liked it so much. also borrowed the soundtracks for 'pippin' and 'godspell' which are old favorites i don't have on cd. and got a couple of books about the silent movie era. half the time i don't read the books i borrow...have trouble concentrating on reading unless i find it really interesting.and the bar is really high for that.
but it was really good that i got out. i really enjoy driving my little car,and worry about how much longer i will have a car...but i try not to. and i don't drive much what with the price of gas. but anyway...it was in the fifties here today...really nice and really nice and toasty in the car. and then tomorrow night and friday we are supposed to get a huge snowstorm. hmmmm....i don't remember other huge spring snowstorms,but whatever. we have sometimes had 90 degree weather in april as well,which i don't like. i like the in between weather. if we're lucky,we get a little between winter and summer and summer and winter...
alas,i am so whiney. i guess it helps me to write though,so...no one should ever feel like they have to read my stuff when they don't want to! i do like to put it out there though in case anyone feels like sharing any thoughts. it helps to know that occasionally other people can tolerate me! ha.
in rereading my emails to my sister from a year ago,trying to ascertain when my mood might improve,it doesn't sound like it will improve much. i have to learn to live with my lowest moods somehow. i talked about this to my therapist yesterday. i do have to work to be able to stand some emotional pain,even if it's bad,if i don't want my life to go totally down the toilet. at my age,i don't have a lot of hope and motivation. but i will need to find some,somewhere!
anyway,i also learned that i've put 5 inches on my waist in a year! i can hardly believe it. a year ago,i gave away my size 10 clothes to my sister,because she had lost weight and needed clothes. at the time,i was still fitting into size 12s,whereas now i just fit into size 18s. well,i did have a pair of size 14 that still fit me...i get sizing is weird..but that pair,my favorite pair,wore right out. today i went to the church and got three pairs of pants for free. two are size 18,one is 16. i doubt the 16 will fit,but who knows? also,having gained 5 inches i only gained ten pounds! and i think it is because i have been so inactive i lost my muscle weight,which is not good weight to lose. so i really need to get out of bed and off the couch and do some walking. not sure how i will motivate myself yet. today i decide to motivate myself to at least be on my feet for a while by browsing in the library. i went to the library in the next town over, and got two woody allen movies. annie hall,which i've seen,but i love it and i adore diane keaton anyway. and i got vicky barcelona or whatever that one is. i just watched 'the other boleyn girl' and i thought scarlet johansenn was really good in that,as was eric bana. i was surprised i liked it so much. also borrowed the soundtracks for 'pippin' and 'godspell' which are old favorites i don't have on cd. and got a couple of books about the silent movie era. half the time i don't read the books i borrow...have trouble concentrating on reading unless i find it really interesting.and the bar is really high for that.
but it was really good that i got out. i really enjoy driving my little car,and worry about how much longer i will have a car...but i try not to. and i don't drive much what with the price of gas. but anyway...it was in the fifties here today...really nice and really nice and toasty in the car. and then tomorrow night and friday we are supposed to get a huge snowstorm. hmmmm....i don't remember other huge spring snowstorms,but whatever. we have sometimes had 90 degree weather in april as well,which i don't like. i like the in between weather. if we're lucky,we get a little between winter and summer and summer and winter...
alas,i am so whiney. i guess it helps me to write though,so...no one should ever feel like they have to read my stuff when they don't want to! i do like to put it out there though in case anyone feels like sharing any thoughts. it helps to know that occasionally other people can tolerate me! ha.
Re: library