bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2012-08-22 01:23 am
bluegreen17) wrote2012-08-22 01:23 am
writing,reading,my brain and republicans
is this thing on? i used to be a good writer. i once aspired to be a professional writer,but what i really wanted was the anonymous fame(i spent hours thinking of a good pseudonym and i think i like naming things to this day more than writing) and to be my own boss. and some money to live on,i suppose.
i don't know if it's age,or just me,or both,but now i like listening to radio a lot,and for some reason i have a difficult time sticking with reading an entire book,though i did read david foster wallace's longass book 'the pale king' last year because i loved his writing. but that is rare. i also used to write to oodles of pen pals and might consider that again,but the snail mail scene seems to be for the arty set more these days,and also getting pressies,and my budget doesn't allowing for much of that. but then again i don't enjoy writing like i used to. when i was first on the internet via webtv...which was my main interface until a couple of years ago,when the hardware got way too slow and i gave it up...i wrote a lot first on open diary,which i still have to this day...about a thousand entries there i haven't backed up...knock on wood so the evil spirits don't hear...and later continued at livejournal.
i spend a lot of time playing cityville. i love building design,and it's amazing how creatively the makers have been with the cityville buildings. if the rules allowed me,i would probably have a mostly residential town. i guess playwise,suburbia would be the best for me to play with! actually,the rules wouldn't be so restricting if i spent money on it. but i just try to consider the restraints a challenge. i've bought facebook credits a few times,when i want something i can't get without it in the game!
i do some reading and sharing beautiful stuff via tumblr too. i spend a fair amount of time on facebook because that's where my family hangs out mostly. once zynga set up a site to play cityville rather than on facebook,i switched to that. you can 'crowdsource' for stuff you need,and play a lot more without money.
i think my baseline mood is on the miserable side,which is why i've spent most of my life trying to find something to be interested in. or maybe it's just that finding something interesting is what motivates me. or a bit of both. sometimes my depression is bad enough that i don't want to do even the most fun things. when i don't enjoy eating,it's a warning sign that i'm heading towards suicidal ideation. which comes from feeling really really bad.
i'm grateful for the internet as a great tool for a person like me who's rather isolated due to lack of energy and money. i think i'm incredibly lucky,even though i don't have much income,but it's all relative. but i do live in fear of ending up on the street. i wouldn't be surprised if i started having nightmares about republicans! no offense to individual republicans,but i'm referring to the idea that fiscal conservatism so your children won't inherit debt is more important then keeping poor and disabled and other unfortunates from suffering because someone else might need to help. okay,i stay away from politics much of the time,especially on facebook,where much of my family are republicans,bless 'em. they're great folks,but i just don't like a lot of things they believe in. though they aren't the kind not to help the suffering,and i don't think most republicans are. but those in power sure seem to be that way. okay enough. just felt like writing. sometimes that happens if i have enough chocolate. : )
i don't know if it's age,or just me,or both,but now i like listening to radio a lot,and for some reason i have a difficult time sticking with reading an entire book,though i did read david foster wallace's longass book 'the pale king' last year because i loved his writing. but that is rare. i also used to write to oodles of pen pals and might consider that again,but the snail mail scene seems to be for the arty set more these days,and also getting pressies,and my budget doesn't allowing for much of that. but then again i don't enjoy writing like i used to. when i was first on the internet via webtv...which was my main interface until a couple of years ago,when the hardware got way too slow and i gave it up...i wrote a lot first on open diary,which i still have to this day...about a thousand entries there i haven't backed up...knock on wood so the evil spirits don't hear...and later continued at livejournal.
i spend a lot of time playing cityville. i love building design,and it's amazing how creatively the makers have been with the cityville buildings. if the rules allowed me,i would probably have a mostly residential town. i guess playwise,suburbia would be the best for me to play with! actually,the rules wouldn't be so restricting if i spent money on it. but i just try to consider the restraints a challenge. i've bought facebook credits a few times,when i want something i can't get without it in the game!
i do some reading and sharing beautiful stuff via tumblr too. i spend a fair amount of time on facebook because that's where my family hangs out mostly. once zynga set up a site to play cityville rather than on facebook,i switched to that. you can 'crowdsource' for stuff you need,and play a lot more without money.
i think my baseline mood is on the miserable side,which is why i've spent most of my life trying to find something to be interested in. or maybe it's just that finding something interesting is what motivates me. or a bit of both. sometimes my depression is bad enough that i don't want to do even the most fun things. when i don't enjoy eating,it's a warning sign that i'm heading towards suicidal ideation. which comes from feeling really really bad.
i'm grateful for the internet as a great tool for a person like me who's rather isolated due to lack of energy and money. i think i'm incredibly lucky,even though i don't have much income,but it's all relative. but i do live in fear of ending up on the street. i wouldn't be surprised if i started having nightmares about republicans! no offense to individual republicans,but i'm referring to the idea that fiscal conservatism so your children won't inherit debt is more important then keeping poor and disabled and other unfortunates from suffering because someone else might need to help. okay,i stay away from politics much of the time,especially on facebook,where much of my family are republicans,bless 'em. they're great folks,but i just don't like a lot of things they believe in. though they aren't the kind not to help the suffering,and i don't think most republicans are. but those in power sure seem to be that way. okay enough. just felt like writing. sometimes that happens if i have enough chocolate. : )
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I'm trying to revive my snail-mail ways of old. I was SUCH a paper-letter-writer from childhood through my 30s. Then, first email, then other e-things, changed that quite a bit, but sometimes still, for me, only paper and pens will do. (Of course, I'm extreme that way, in my obsession with ink and pulp and the physical feel of it all!) In the last few years I started sending a lot of postcards to my parents -- mostly for my mom's sake, as she often seemed delighted with the odd pictures on the fronts (there are some great stores here with eccentric-art postcards), and it was a way to "write often" without it taking a lot of time. When I'd visit, I'd put all the postcards into a little photo album, which she seemed to like paging through. Like (I've heard, anyway) other people with dementia, she would sometimes make up little scenarios or stories about what was going on in the pictures; it was really sweet. Now that she's gone, I'm carrying on this practice with my Dad -- especially since he's much less verbal than she was and phone calls are often unsatisfying. But he'll hold a card or letter from me in his lap for hours, according to my brother, alternately poring over it and dozing off with it in his hands. I always draw hearts, etc., and sometimes paste in a picture of myself to help him remember who I am...
Hey, anonymous fame, being one's own boss, and some money to live on are worthy desires! Seems like it's not too much to hope for at least 2 out of 3, anyway... ;-)
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