bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2002-10-14 10:22 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2002-10-14 10:22 pm
la dolce vita
arghhhh!!!!
after spending my vacation taking care of my mother and then the last two weekends,i'm burnt out already.
oh,well.
lately i've been pondering just what the hell i really want in life anyway. so i went to the library yesterday to look for some books by barbara sher,which are on that very subject plus her books are fun. she dropped by our store one time to sign some books while she was doing a seminar in town,and she is even funnier in person than she is in her books!
today when i've had a few moments (i feel like i've spent the day giving my mother her meds,figuring out how to assemble her inhaler/spacer contraption,showing her how to use it,doing laundry,taking out trash,calling the garage so i can get my car in next week for winter prep,calling the dr and dentist's offices unsuccessfully,doing my grocery shopping,taking my mother to the pharmacy to get the inhaler and that's about it ) i had been reading her book -it's only too late if you don't start now:how to create your second life after forty-.
it's very good. she addresses a lot of issues,but she does not address what to do if you're shackled to caretaking of parents. (i'm pretty cranky today,can you tell? didn't succumb to the ben and jerry's even though it's pms.)
one issue she did bring up is something else i've been pondering...why i feel so bad because i rarely get crushes anymore and there is just something missing. well,she talks about letting go of the illusion of that hormonal love...because she mentioned something i've suspected for awhile...what we think of as love and longing is pretty much biological and mother nature in self-preservation has us fooled big time. now,if you're under a certain age,and i wont say there's a strict dividing line,you're not going to believe what i have to say anyway because i wouldn't and didn't when i was younger,so i'm not going to try to convince anybody.
but there is love beyond crushes (though,dang it they sure are fun and i am still reluctant to give up those illusions). now,how do i know this?
i think barbara sher is funny when she says one still craves romance but one also knows better. you live,you learn.
but there is good news.
i've glimpsed the other side briefly in the past two years and i know that it's real. and in fact,it feels even better. i'm glad i've had that experience because it helps me to let go of something that will never work and get to something that's real. and real isn't boring.
but if you don't know what i'm talking about i can't explain it any better. and as it is,i have to get used to it myself.
i loved the analogy barbara uses because it fits so perfectly
'it's like giving up salt on food;at first everything lacks flavor,but soon it has twice as much'.
as a matter of fact,i HAVE experienced the giving up of salt as well as the giving up of butter or jam on toast...and if you're eating good bread that isn't substanceless like wonder bread it is very tasty once you develop the sensitivity to taste it. which is also why i like steamed brown rice even without soy sauce. so in giving some stuff over the years,i have gained enhanced taste for other things.
i'm looking forward to getting over this phase where life and love seems to lack flavor,and to getting to the place where it has twice as much.
and like i said,i've had a little taste and it was delicious.
after spending my vacation taking care of my mother and then the last two weekends,i'm burnt out already.
oh,well.
lately i've been pondering just what the hell i really want in life anyway. so i went to the library yesterday to look for some books by barbara sher,which are on that very subject plus her books are fun. she dropped by our store one time to sign some books while she was doing a seminar in town,and she is even funnier in person than she is in her books!
today when i've had a few moments (i feel like i've spent the day giving my mother her meds,figuring out how to assemble her inhaler/spacer contraption,showing her how to use it,doing laundry,taking out trash,calling the garage so i can get my car in next week for winter prep,calling the dr and dentist's offices unsuccessfully,doing my grocery shopping,taking my mother to the pharmacy to get the inhaler and that's about it ) i had been reading her book -it's only too late if you don't start now:how to create your second life after forty-.
it's very good. she addresses a lot of issues,but she does not address what to do if you're shackled to caretaking of parents. (i'm pretty cranky today,can you tell? didn't succumb to the ben and jerry's even though it's pms.)
one issue she did bring up is something else i've been pondering...why i feel so bad because i rarely get crushes anymore and there is just something missing. well,she talks about letting go of the illusion of that hormonal love...because she mentioned something i've suspected for awhile...what we think of as love and longing is pretty much biological and mother nature in self-preservation has us fooled big time. now,if you're under a certain age,and i wont say there's a strict dividing line,you're not going to believe what i have to say anyway because i wouldn't and didn't when i was younger,so i'm not going to try to convince anybody.
but there is love beyond crushes (though,dang it they sure are fun and i am still reluctant to give up those illusions). now,how do i know this?
i think barbara sher is funny when she says one still craves romance but one also knows better. you live,you learn.
but there is good news.
i've glimpsed the other side briefly in the past two years and i know that it's real. and in fact,it feels even better. i'm glad i've had that experience because it helps me to let go of something that will never work and get to something that's real. and real isn't boring.
but if you don't know what i'm talking about i can't explain it any better. and as it is,i have to get used to it myself.
i loved the analogy barbara uses because it fits so perfectly
'it's like giving up salt on food;at first everything lacks flavor,but soon it has twice as much'.
as a matter of fact,i HAVE experienced the giving up of salt as well as the giving up of butter or jam on toast...and if you're eating good bread that isn't substanceless like wonder bread it is very tasty once you develop the sensitivity to taste it. which is also why i like steamed brown rice even without soy sauce. so in giving some stuff over the years,i have gained enhanced taste for other things.
i'm looking forward to getting over this phase where life and love seems to lack flavor,and to getting to the place where it has twice as much.
and like i said,i've had a little taste and it was delicious.
no subject
Noooooooo! ; )