bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2003-01-01 12:26 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2003-01-01 12:26 pm
thank god 2002 is over!
yeah,i know how should have done this 'assessment' yesterday but i worked a half day and was extremely unambitious the rest of the day.so.
in the immortal words of my sester sara:
Happy New Year, good riddance to freaking 2002!
in 2002 these sucky things happened:
my dad had an angioplasty
my mom developed als (lou gehrig's disease) which affected her throat muscles and she lost her voice,has serious problems with swallowing,
and also developed a rarer symptom of dementia,so that she is now quite childlike and lacks social decorum as well as not being able to use an atm machine,remember her kids' phone numbers,or open her own bottle of cough syrup.she also was diagnosis with the beginning stages of emphysema so has breathing problems as well.
my brother-in-law,who has three young children with my sister,was diagnosed with leukemia. his prognosis for recovery is not hopeless,but it's still very serious and a day-by-day thing.
my other brother-in-law,who with my sister has two four-year-olds,was laid off from his job just before christmas
i had to have all my brakes replaced...$800
my dad got ripped off of checks that were in his locked apartment (one of the tenants downstairs worked as a repo man and apparently had some sort of skeleton key) which resulted in having a several months hassle with banks to recover money from large checks they should never have cashed,not to mention that it was particularly upsetting to my dad who has lived in this town his entire life and grew up in an era where you knew and trusted your neighbors. and right around the time he found out he had blockages in his heart and needed an angioplasty as well as the time he moved from the apt. where he'd gotten robbed.
i was more seriously depressed than i have ever been in my life (and i've been depressed quite a bit) but i still had to drag my ass to work to pay the bills,especially since my expenses doubled when my mother had to quit work in february due to her illness. i had to pay the rent for both of us. most weeks,between acute depression and ongoing stomach problems,i only got through 4 days rather than 5 and quickly ran out of paid sick days therefore making my finances even worse. there were at least several months there while taking care of my mother that i felt suicidal practically 24/7.
i started taking drugs. (i hate drugs)
oh,there's probably more,but why dredge it up?
~~~~~~~~
on the plus side:
after months of struggle with finances and visits to doctors,we got a diagnosis for my mother and got her into a nursing home where people know how to care for her properly,as opposed to us kids fumbling around trying to keep my mother alive and comfortable. she also likes it there,because she is very sociable and likes being with people,for which we are very grateful,because it's not an easy thing to put your parent into a nursing home.
my dad is still alive,and relatively healthy. i think he was saved from a heart attack due to those blockages because he's always done a lot of long distance as well as daily walking,rather than driving everywhere like most of us do.
my brother-in-law is hanging in there.
i started taking drugs (and i was very fortunate,because they worked. at least for now,i dont feel hopeless and suicidal all day every day. life aint a bed of roses but sometimes i'm happy and when i'm not i'm not devastated.)
i survived the year,by the skin of my teeth,but still...
i finally saw 'fellowship of the ring' on video in september and it's one of the best movies i've seen in ages,or ever. an amazing surprise,since i loved the books.
i renewed my interest in music,and got a radio for free!
i renewed my interest in life in general.
i think i've started to understand saturn a little bit,but i can't explain it more than that. (saturn has been in the sign of gemini since june 2001 and my life has been very very difficult since then.)
~~~~~~
oh,maybe there's more,but i've got to
get to work.
i will begin again....
begin the begin.
(special thanks to u2 and r.e.m.)
in the immortal words of my sester sara:
Happy New Year, good riddance to freaking 2002!
in 2002 these sucky things happened:
my dad had an angioplasty
my mom developed als (lou gehrig's disease) which affected her throat muscles and she lost her voice,has serious problems with swallowing,
and also developed a rarer symptom of dementia,so that she is now quite childlike and lacks social decorum as well as not being able to use an atm machine,remember her kids' phone numbers,or open her own bottle of cough syrup.she also was diagnosis with the beginning stages of emphysema so has breathing problems as well.
my brother-in-law,who has three young children with my sister,was diagnosed with leukemia. his prognosis for recovery is not hopeless,but it's still very serious and a day-by-day thing.
my other brother-in-law,who with my sister has two four-year-olds,was laid off from his job just before christmas
i had to have all my brakes replaced...$800
my dad got ripped off of checks that were in his locked apartment (one of the tenants downstairs worked as a repo man and apparently had some sort of skeleton key) which resulted in having a several months hassle with banks to recover money from large checks they should never have cashed,not to mention that it was particularly upsetting to my dad who has lived in this town his entire life and grew up in an era where you knew and trusted your neighbors. and right around the time he found out he had blockages in his heart and needed an angioplasty as well as the time he moved from the apt. where he'd gotten robbed.
i was more seriously depressed than i have ever been in my life (and i've been depressed quite a bit) but i still had to drag my ass to work to pay the bills,especially since my expenses doubled when my mother had to quit work in february due to her illness. i had to pay the rent for both of us. most weeks,between acute depression and ongoing stomach problems,i only got through 4 days rather than 5 and quickly ran out of paid sick days therefore making my finances even worse. there were at least several months there while taking care of my mother that i felt suicidal practically 24/7.
i started taking drugs. (i hate drugs)
oh,there's probably more,but why dredge it up?
~~~~~~~~
on the plus side:
after months of struggle with finances and visits to doctors,we got a diagnosis for my mother and got her into a nursing home where people know how to care for her properly,as opposed to us kids fumbling around trying to keep my mother alive and comfortable. she also likes it there,because she is very sociable and likes being with people,for which we are very grateful,because it's not an easy thing to put your parent into a nursing home.
my dad is still alive,and relatively healthy. i think he was saved from a heart attack due to those blockages because he's always done a lot of long distance as well as daily walking,rather than driving everywhere like most of us do.
my brother-in-law is hanging in there.
i started taking drugs (and i was very fortunate,because they worked. at least for now,i dont feel hopeless and suicidal all day every day. life aint a bed of roses but sometimes i'm happy and when i'm not i'm not devastated.)
i survived the year,by the skin of my teeth,but still...
i finally saw 'fellowship of the ring' on video in september and it's one of the best movies i've seen in ages,or ever. an amazing surprise,since i loved the books.
i renewed my interest in music,and got a radio for free!
i renewed my interest in life in general.
i think i've started to understand saturn a little bit,but i can't explain it more than that. (saturn has been in the sign of gemini since june 2001 and my life has been very very difficult since then.)
~~~~~~
oh,maybe there's more,but i've got to
get to work.
i will begin again....
begin the begin.
(special thanks to u2 and r.e.m.)
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