bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2003-02-16 10:08 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2003-02-16 10:08 pm
the princess and the pea
you know,it can be hell being sensitive. right now my upstairs neighbor's toilet is stuck and it will probably be hours before THEY notice it and jiggle the fucking handle to stop wasting the world's water supply. one time someone left for the week and their toilet ran for the whole time. i never leave the apartment without making sure the water isn't running in the toilet. when i hear that loud annoying roar of someone's stuck toilet,i can't sleep. seriously. it sucks. i resort to PRAYING for divine intervention,it disturbs me that much. what kind of idiots can't hear their fuckin' toilet? just the idiots that are the majority on this planet. damn,i'm sooo sick of this place (the planet,not just the condo unit)
i've also discovered one more reason i probably shouldn't commit suicide and am thus having to stay in this hell for god knows how long and suffer (sorry,i'm obviously having another depressive episode)...i dont' have enough life insurance to be buried and i don't want to make my family's life hell. i've even thought of 'disappearing'...moving away never to be heard from again so that they won't be liable for my expenses...but i think that would be hurtful to them just as much as suicide. at the very least (the lesser of three evils?) i should stick around even if i have to live in a mental hospital. that's embarrassing to a family but probably not as bad as committing suicide or disappearing would be.
uh,yeah,i'm in a great mood and the morons still haven't noticed their toilet is stuck. that and the folks that tailgated me today at 60 miles an hour at best two car lengths behind me,thinking that they can defy physics and the laws of chance if i should ever have to stop...or more likely they just don't care. such makes me love mankind.
and i forgot to find a book at the library today that would help me 'understand' people because i sure as hell dont' know why so many people are such stupid assholes.
but i did get a book on social security disability....looks like i couldnt' get short term disability for being near suicidal...only if i actually try to do it...why bother with prevention? just wait till someone really wants to kill themselves.
got a book on alzhemier's,which isn't exactly what mom has,but she has a form of dementia. i went to visit her today and each visit is more and more painful and she isn't even near death yet. i love my mom but it is so hard to go there...got a book on art nouveau that was lovely and one on the history of color...and i love colors,so i was very excited to find that.
oh,and of course i abused sugar quite a lot again today. it's because of the depression. i have never heard of twelve step groups for depression though. i just read this real bullshit book about how depression is 'treatable' blah blah blah and i happen to know of a lot of depressed people who have had treatment and can barely cope,never mind are cured.
and yeah,the fuckin' toilet is STILL running...
i've also discovered one more reason i probably shouldn't commit suicide and am thus having to stay in this hell for god knows how long and suffer (sorry,i'm obviously having another depressive episode)...i dont' have enough life insurance to be buried and i don't want to make my family's life hell. i've even thought of 'disappearing'...moving away never to be heard from again so that they won't be liable for my expenses...but i think that would be hurtful to them just as much as suicide. at the very least (the lesser of three evils?) i should stick around even if i have to live in a mental hospital. that's embarrassing to a family but probably not as bad as committing suicide or disappearing would be.
uh,yeah,i'm in a great mood and the morons still haven't noticed their toilet is stuck. that and the folks that tailgated me today at 60 miles an hour at best two car lengths behind me,thinking that they can defy physics and the laws of chance if i should ever have to stop...or more likely they just don't care. such makes me love mankind.
and i forgot to find a book at the library today that would help me 'understand' people because i sure as hell dont' know why so many people are such stupid assholes.
but i did get a book on social security disability....looks like i couldnt' get short term disability for being near suicidal...only if i actually try to do it...why bother with prevention? just wait till someone really wants to kill themselves.
got a book on alzhemier's,which isn't exactly what mom has,but she has a form of dementia. i went to visit her today and each visit is more and more painful and she isn't even near death yet. i love my mom but it is so hard to go there...got a book on art nouveau that was lovely and one on the history of color...and i love colors,so i was very excited to find that.
oh,and of course i abused sugar quite a lot again today. it's because of the depression. i have never heard of twelve step groups for depression though. i just read this real bullshit book about how depression is 'treatable' blah blah blah and i happen to know of a lot of depressed people who have had treatment and can barely cope,never mind are cured.
and yeah,the fuckin' toilet is STILL running...