bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2003-03-10 06:21 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2003-03-10 06:21 pm
automatic for the people
i'm feeling really critical. is the moon in virgo or something?
anyhoo,i'm psychologically tired at the moment. it seems i'm wanting and/or needing more and more time alone and that's not too great since i'm going back to work tomorrow. i'll adapt,i suppose.
my sisters sara and rachel came over today and we all went out to lunch with dad. then dad dropped us off at the garage so i could pick up my lovely seablue who now has fresh oil. i think she's happy. i think i'm losing my mind.
i found myself telling my sisters about how seablue is my first girl car,and the other two i had previously were boys. and,yes they had names. my first car was a plymouth valiant cygnet-kinda cool since the ugly duckling is my favorite fairy tale- and his name was the millenium falcon.guess i was mixing up my avians there. my second car was named finley because he was light-colored. oops,i almost forgot about finley the second,who also was a boy. oh finley 1 was a chevy monza that i liked driving but it didn't die well. i'll just say it was a pain in the ass at the end of its days. finley 2 was a ford escort. i traded him in-which was a joke really,but it saved me having to call a scrapyard-because he was getting to need too much work,but he didn't give me any trouble at the end of us days,and i was sad to say goodbye. at this point,i was quite happy with ford escorts-which of course they discontinued because i liked them. but in '99 when i decided to replace finley 2,i went looking for another escort. well,the best used ford escort i could find was a wagon. they're not really very big and i didnt need a wagon and i thought the gas mileage wouldn't be as good,but i did some research and it turned out it was as good as a sedan. seablue was very well taken care of when i got her,and i didn't do too bad haggling the price...i was pretty firm. but i also took my dad along,even though i probably know more about cars than he does and i know next to nothing. ha. it was just my psychological intimidation tactic,ha ha. my dad's hardly mean looking or anything. he's a slightly overweight befuddled looking guy who has no social skills-so i'm always extra nice to waitresses to make up for his accidental rudeness. anyway,yeah i got a good deal on seablue i think.
when i got her,she was six years old,but i was thrilled because she was much less noisy than the then eleven year old finley 2. uh...did i ever tell you i sometimes go off on tangents? i'm really bad when i get together with my sisters. my sister rachel especially thinks i'm funny and i love an audience. i never know what's going to make people laugh...i try all the time though and it's sort of like a batting average...maybe 2 or 3 out of ten things i think are funny will make someone else laugh. for me,it's just sort of habit. it's my way of trying to make other people feel comfortable,i think. so i just go on and am sometimes pleasantly surprised when someone thinks something i said is hysterically funny.
anyway,i write all this stuff out so my grandchildren can read it someday. oh,wait. i dont' have any children. (saints be praised!)
anyhow,when we got back home to my cottage by the sea (yeah,right) we hung out for a while. unfortunately my sister rachel is sad a lot and she was upset because dad wasn't sympathetic about the fact that she got turned down by four schools to go for her doctorate degree. hey,that's damned disappointing. but don't going looking to dad,because he has no clue he's supposed to OFFER sympathy.
i almost asked her if she was pmsing,but that sometimes ending up sounding like your feelings are invalid,and i dont' mean it that way. it just feel sad and mad that my sister is sad over things and i can't fix it. and there's nothing i can do to help. i told her i wish i knew what to say. well,she said, at least you didn't tell me i SHOULDN'T feel this way,which apparently she's been told by mom for years. sara and rachel then went on a rant about our parents' psychological failings. i didn't join in. maybe it's because i'm older...i empathize with my parents now too,so i can understand more why they couldn't do better.
but i wasnt going to lecture them either...i feel frustrations about my upbringing too sometimes.
on the good side,we eventually ended up having a few laughs...thankfully as sad as we all can get,we know how to laugh too.
but that just kind of made me want to retreat. so now i'm glad i'm quietly at home alone.
recently i found out my four year old nephew,who's birthday is two days after mine in june,really likes to stay home. i have to laugh,because i'm like that too.he's very talkative (ha ha,yeah,gemini trait extraordinaire) and outgoing but he likes to be home.
the other day my sister michele,his mom,had to take our mom to the doctor's. then they went out to lunch and my mother took a spill (i think the als is now weakening her leg muscles,but the neurologist didn't even check...duh. the other day mom and i went out for a walk and she was leaning on me and seemed unsteady on her feet.) so they had to take her to the emergency room. apparently her illness makes her not even have the reflexes to put her hands out to break the fall,and she hurt her face. she's okay,but it's sad. so my nephew was sitting in the waiting room saying 'i just want to go home and RELAX.' oh,boy...that sounds so familiar. oh dear. when i was kid i was always saying to my mom 'i want to go home!' rachel says she always wanted to go OUT. she's the one who ended up living in boston and hates her hick origins,which doesnt bother me too much.but then my parents did help me pay for four years of college so i'm not quite so hick anymore. now i call tonic 'soda' and elastics are 'rubber bands'. yes,those are the things i picked up in college. that,and wearing turtlenecks straight up and not folded down. oh,and i got a b.a. too. but the best thing was the experience!
okay,me go now. i don't know why,but i'm going to stop writing now.
yes,right now. i'm going now.
oh by the way...
anyhoo,i'm psychologically tired at the moment. it seems i'm wanting and/or needing more and more time alone and that's not too great since i'm going back to work tomorrow. i'll adapt,i suppose.
my sisters sara and rachel came over today and we all went out to lunch with dad. then dad dropped us off at the garage so i could pick up my lovely seablue who now has fresh oil. i think she's happy. i think i'm losing my mind.
i found myself telling my sisters about how seablue is my first girl car,and the other two i had previously were boys. and,yes they had names. my first car was a plymouth valiant cygnet-kinda cool since the ugly duckling is my favorite fairy tale- and his name was the millenium falcon.guess i was mixing up my avians there. my second car was named finley because he was light-colored. oops,i almost forgot about finley the second,who also was a boy. oh finley 1 was a chevy monza that i liked driving but it didn't die well. i'll just say it was a pain in the ass at the end of its days. finley 2 was a ford escort. i traded him in-which was a joke really,but it saved me having to call a scrapyard-because he was getting to need too much work,but he didn't give me any trouble at the end of us days,and i was sad to say goodbye. at this point,i was quite happy with ford escorts-which of course they discontinued because i liked them. but in '99 when i decided to replace finley 2,i went looking for another escort. well,the best used ford escort i could find was a wagon. they're not really very big and i didnt need a wagon and i thought the gas mileage wouldn't be as good,but i did some research and it turned out it was as good as a sedan. seablue was very well taken care of when i got her,and i didn't do too bad haggling the price...i was pretty firm. but i also took my dad along,even though i probably know more about cars than he does and i know next to nothing. ha. it was just my psychological intimidation tactic,ha ha. my dad's hardly mean looking or anything. he's a slightly overweight befuddled looking guy who has no social skills-so i'm always extra nice to waitresses to make up for his accidental rudeness. anyway,yeah i got a good deal on seablue i think.
when i got her,she was six years old,but i was thrilled because she was much less noisy than the then eleven year old finley 2. uh...did i ever tell you i sometimes go off on tangents? i'm really bad when i get together with my sisters. my sister rachel especially thinks i'm funny and i love an audience. i never know what's going to make people laugh...i try all the time though and it's sort of like a batting average...maybe 2 or 3 out of ten things i think are funny will make someone else laugh. for me,it's just sort of habit. it's my way of trying to make other people feel comfortable,i think. so i just go on and am sometimes pleasantly surprised when someone thinks something i said is hysterically funny.
anyway,i write all this stuff out so my grandchildren can read it someday. oh,wait. i dont' have any children. (saints be praised!)
anyhow,when we got back home to my cottage by the sea (yeah,right) we hung out for a while. unfortunately my sister rachel is sad a lot and she was upset because dad wasn't sympathetic about the fact that she got turned down by four schools to go for her doctorate degree. hey,that's damned disappointing. but don't going looking to dad,because he has no clue he's supposed to OFFER sympathy.
i almost asked her if she was pmsing,but that sometimes ending up sounding like your feelings are invalid,and i dont' mean it that way. it just feel sad and mad that my sister is sad over things and i can't fix it. and there's nothing i can do to help. i told her i wish i knew what to say. well,she said, at least you didn't tell me i SHOULDN'T feel this way,which apparently she's been told by mom for years. sara and rachel then went on a rant about our parents' psychological failings. i didn't join in. maybe it's because i'm older...i empathize with my parents now too,so i can understand more why they couldn't do better.
but i wasnt going to lecture them either...i feel frustrations about my upbringing too sometimes.
on the good side,we eventually ended up having a few laughs...thankfully as sad as we all can get,we know how to laugh too.
but that just kind of made me want to retreat. so now i'm glad i'm quietly at home alone.
recently i found out my four year old nephew,who's birthday is two days after mine in june,really likes to stay home. i have to laugh,because i'm like that too.he's very talkative (ha ha,yeah,gemini trait extraordinaire) and outgoing but he likes to be home.
the other day my sister michele,his mom,had to take our mom to the doctor's. then they went out to lunch and my mother took a spill (i think the als is now weakening her leg muscles,but the neurologist didn't even check...duh. the other day mom and i went out for a walk and she was leaning on me and seemed unsteady on her feet.) so they had to take her to the emergency room. apparently her illness makes her not even have the reflexes to put her hands out to break the fall,and she hurt her face. she's okay,but it's sad. so my nephew was sitting in the waiting room saying 'i just want to go home and RELAX.' oh,boy...that sounds so familiar. oh dear. when i was kid i was always saying to my mom 'i want to go home!' rachel says she always wanted to go OUT. she's the one who ended up living in boston and hates her hick origins,which doesnt bother me too much.but then my parents did help me pay for four years of college so i'm not quite so hick anymore. now i call tonic 'soda' and elastics are 'rubber bands'. yes,those are the things i picked up in college. that,and wearing turtlenecks straight up and not folded down. oh,and i got a b.a. too. but the best thing was the experience!
okay,me go now. i don't know why,but i'm going to stop writing now.
yes,right now. i'm going now.
oh by the way...
no subject
no subject
my cars just have names like a fiction writer's characters have their own personality...i guess i've written fictitious stories or something long ago and found that out...or at least it seemed true for me. how about you? it's a kind of bizarre thing.
Re:
probably more than you wanted to know. but "the Swords of Wayland" a nifty episode.
as far as my car having a personality, I think that's true...he hates being pushed around, especially in the morning. he also enjoys having Grateful Dead stickers on his back windows. heh.