bluegreen17 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluegreen17) wrote2002-08-17 01:22 pm
bluegreen17) wrote2002-08-17 01:22 pm
god is...chocolate?
havent heard from god yet. i hate being ignored. plus,you'd think god being allpowerful wouldn't have any excuse about being late getting back to you.like many things,i just don't understand god. and i don't know why it bothers me so much when i don't understand something.
basically,i'm agnostic. i don't think god's existence can be proved but i also think it can't be proved that she/he/it DOESN'T exist. some atheists are absolutely sure there isn't a god. that's their perogative,but i don't think there's any proof. i mean,what is god anyway? it's interesting that deepack chopra wrote a book about how to find god,and god is different things depending on where YOU are spiritually. it's a strange thing.
some of the nicest people are atheists. i have a cousin who is an atheist (or at least used to be...haven't been in touch for awhile) and he's one of the good guys...he used to work as a respiratory technician and i think he did that because he wanted to help people in that way...breathing is pretty important. it's kind of nice that he worked in the hospital that my grandmother died in,and he was involved in her care because she died of pleurisy,a condition of the lungs. i think she was only sick for a short while,a week or two,and she died when she was eighty four. i kind of idolized her. she was really neat and less cranky than my dad's mother. as the years go by,i realize that my mother's emotional distance probably came from her mother,and i inherited my crankiness from my dad and the grandmother i didn't like as well.
i dont' know...what's worse? some who's cranky but communicative or someone who is cold and distant? actually,my cranky grandmother was rarely cranky with me,but she complained about other people a lot. she was nevertheless extrordinarily grateful when she got presents at christmas or her birthday and everything we gave her was the most wonderful thing. my dad is like that too. i see him every other week and he buys me lunch but he is always grateful to ME for taking the time to be with him and listening to him,because he lives alone and doesn't have much of anyone to talk to.i always thank him for lunch and for driving over to see me and for being so supportive of me,though it's probably easier for him because he doesn't live with me!
well,i got from atheists to my dad,who's a devout catholic! i think it's fun to follow my stream of thoughts except when they are all negative,which they are too often. i go off on tangents and enjoy it,though it seems it annoys some people.
one of my former email buddies called one of my emails 'a typical obsessive compulsive rant' which kind of insulted me,though i do have traits of ocd. actually,my rambling writing is more typical of a.d.d. in my opinion...which frankly isn't a DEFICIT' as it's a fullspectrummed and wide-ranging flow of ideas...and in some cases,that's not a bad thing at all.
if our society wasn't based on so many proles (workers) having to live such fucking boring lives and jobs in order for the very few with most of the money to be able to buy another yacht,i dont' think a.d.d. would be considered a disorder.
i've got a freaking creative mind and yet i have to spend my days doing boring domestic chores which make me suicidal...though i suppose i'm insinuating that since i'm creative i shouldn't have to do those things,which is just as bad as the few with money not having to do those things. still,there's got to be a better way...there's definitely something wrong with the way we live when so many people have to take antidpressants just to keep going.
and i'm going to stop for now,believe it or not!
(well,almost...my adderal doesn't seem to be giving me anything yet,but i just wrote that under the influence of CHOCOLATE... and i dont' think that's a coincidence. how can i get a drug that will give me what chocolate does?)
basically,i'm agnostic. i don't think god's existence can be proved but i also think it can't be proved that she/he/it DOESN'T exist. some atheists are absolutely sure there isn't a god. that's their perogative,but i don't think there's any proof. i mean,what is god anyway? it's interesting that deepack chopra wrote a book about how to find god,and god is different things depending on where YOU are spiritually. it's a strange thing.
some of the nicest people are atheists. i have a cousin who is an atheist (or at least used to be...haven't been in touch for awhile) and he's one of the good guys...he used to work as a respiratory technician and i think he did that because he wanted to help people in that way...breathing is pretty important. it's kind of nice that he worked in the hospital that my grandmother died in,and he was involved in her care because she died of pleurisy,a condition of the lungs. i think she was only sick for a short while,a week or two,and she died when she was eighty four. i kind of idolized her. she was really neat and less cranky than my dad's mother. as the years go by,i realize that my mother's emotional distance probably came from her mother,and i inherited my crankiness from my dad and the grandmother i didn't like as well.
i dont' know...what's worse? some who's cranky but communicative or someone who is cold and distant? actually,my cranky grandmother was rarely cranky with me,but she complained about other people a lot. she was nevertheless extrordinarily grateful when she got presents at christmas or her birthday and everything we gave her was the most wonderful thing. my dad is like that too. i see him every other week and he buys me lunch but he is always grateful to ME for taking the time to be with him and listening to him,because he lives alone and doesn't have much of anyone to talk to.i always thank him for lunch and for driving over to see me and for being so supportive of me,though it's probably easier for him because he doesn't live with me!
well,i got from atheists to my dad,who's a devout catholic! i think it's fun to follow my stream of thoughts except when they are all negative,which they are too often. i go off on tangents and enjoy it,though it seems it annoys some people.
one of my former email buddies called one of my emails 'a typical obsessive compulsive rant' which kind of insulted me,though i do have traits of ocd. actually,my rambling writing is more typical of a.d.d. in my opinion...which frankly isn't a DEFICIT' as it's a fullspectrummed and wide-ranging flow of ideas...and in some cases,that's not a bad thing at all.
if our society wasn't based on so many proles (workers) having to live such fucking boring lives and jobs in order for the very few with most of the money to be able to buy another yacht,i dont' think a.d.d. would be considered a disorder.
i've got a freaking creative mind and yet i have to spend my days doing boring domestic chores which make me suicidal...though i suppose i'm insinuating that since i'm creative i shouldn't have to do those things,which is just as bad as the few with money not having to do those things. still,there's got to be a better way...there's definitely something wrong with the way we live when so many people have to take antidpressants just to keep going.
and i'm going to stop for now,believe it or not!
(well,almost...my adderal doesn't seem to be giving me anything yet,but i just wrote that under the influence of CHOCOLATE... and i dont' think that's a coincidence. how can i get a drug that will give me what chocolate does?)
no subject
i'm not usually very good at keeping up with people by email,but i will keep your offer in mind because it might be nice to connect sometime with someone near my age with similar,shall we say,challenges.
thanks.
Re:
no subject
Take care and I hope you find what you are looking for.
Mmmmmmmm...chocolate sounds like a good starting point. *S*