the answer is 42

[bluegreen17]

didn't get much done today. felt lazy and unmotivated.
i was going to bring the trash down but the dumpster hasn't been empty and i don't think they'll be back until saturday.or maybe they were here and i missed them,but i was too lazy to run down and check the dumpster again.

well,i did get a few things done. i brought my book back to the library and of course took more out.
'bury me standing' about the roma (gypsies)
a book about the rise of cities. i've been interested in cities lately.i think i have a love/hate relationship with them. i hate the fast pace of some cities (and being on the east coast,the pace is generally fast) but on the other hand there is so much to see and so many people to watch,so it's not boring. it's great if one isn't in a rush themselves.

'the man in the high castle' by philip k. dick

a book about antidepressants

i renewed 'change your brain,change your life'

i got a call back from the nurse at the dr.'s office,and since my stomach wasn't too bad today,i decided to refill the prescription for the less strong stomach med i am trying to gear down to. if i get sick again,i'll call them back and they'll either give me samples of the stronger med and/or i'll get a prescription called in if my insurance will pay. but hopefully i'll be able to stay on the ranitidine. i also got my bennie prescription...the calming agent for when i start on the wellbutrin,which i will now try on sunday,my next day off,if my stomach remains okay.

i still need to buy drano for the tub and i keep putting it off because i am either doing something else or am too lazy.i'll have to get some soon though,since the drain keeps getting slower. can't put it off forever.

there are a few emails i intend to write but i just haven't felt like it. i don't know why i am sometimes less motivated to write emails than journal entries. i think it may be because it takes more focus,and focus is not abundant in my brain right now.
it's easier to just ramble like this than to address something specific to a specific person,i guess.

i find it so hard to force myself to do things i don't feel like doing! is it depression or laziness?

i will most likely get 'dry mouth' while taking wellbutrin. according to the stuff i've been reading,that makes one more prone to cavities,which is interesting because i'm already so prone to cavities that i have to brush and floss even when i just think about food! ha. but seriously,fortunately i have my six month checkup in two weeks and i'm going to ask my dentist if he has any helpful hints.cavities are expensive not to mention painful! and i already have a mouth full of foreign matter. i no longer get mercury amalgam fillings,but who knows whether the more modern stuff is toxic as well? plus,the non mercury fillings are more expensive.

well,if the wellbutrin helps me to feel better,it will be a matter of do i want to be happy and have no teeth or do i want to be miserable and have teeth? ha. maybe it won't end up as drastic as that.

for some reason,this is all getting blurry,which is disturbing...do eyes get blurry when they are tired? sometimes i find things are blurry but they don't usually GET blurry while i'm writing/reading,so this is weird.

i must tell myself,don't panic!
take a towel!

Comments

[movieman.livejournal.com]

My sight gets blurry when I become so tired to where I am falling asleep in my chair. Unless it comes to that point with me, my visions doesn't normally alter when I get tired.

Re: medication and ADD

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

i find it so hard to force myself to do things i don't feel like doing! is it depression or laziness?

Uh, it's called ADD. Many people tell us that we are "just lazy" or "lacking in willpower" or "a slacker". It's really a neurological condition. I have had difficulty holding down a job without being on drugs to help me return to baseline...

i will most likely get 'dry mouth' while taking wellbutrin.

I get dry-mouth from dexedrine. I keep a bottle from Talking Rain that I refill at the tap about twice a day. I like the Talking Rain bottle since it has the nice little circular ring that makes it easy to grip. If you can keep yourself hydrated, you won't have the teeth problem. (from someone that's been taking such drugs on and off for about 9 years.)

do eyes get blurry when they are tired?

Mine don't. But my partner, cindygerb's eyes do get blurry as she gets tired. It can get to the point where she can't even read if she's *really* tired...

Re: medication and ADD

[bluegreen17]

thanks for the tips. i drink about 8 glasses of water a day,but i drink 2 glasses at a time during intervals of the day because it's not really convenient to sip on a water bottle at work (i'm running around most of the time and we're not supposed to have drinks on the selling floor)...but i'll see how it goes. i don't know if drinking the way i usually do will keep my mouth hydrated or not. don't know exactly how it works!

it's hard to explain to people why one is unmotivated. if they haven't experienced it,they don't understand.people get frustrated with me,and i get frustrated with myself. it's hard when you live with other people and you can't push yourself to do housecleaning. i do the best i can. i don't mean to be inconsiderate,but it looks that way. right now i live with my mother,but when i need a roommate later i don't think it's fair for anyone to have to live with me,but i can't afford to live alone!

i wish i could work part-time and get some kind of part time mental disability,but i don't think they let you collect disability if you can work,and i don't want to not work because work makes me feel better to a certain degree. it's having to work full-time and being stressed trying to get things done at home that really frazzles and drains me.and if i don't get a roommate i have to work two jobs,and i can't figure out how i would do that since i have trouble working 5 days at times...i have to push myself. many weeks i only get in 4 days or 4 and a half....i really have to push for those forty hours.
well,enough about my puzzles...
thanks for your thoughts!

[mistvixen.livejournal.com]

"i find it so hard to force myself to do things i don't feel like doing! is it depression or laziness?"

I used to tell myself it was laziness, they all told me it was depression.
I now say honestly if something bores you how are you meant to find the extra piece of energy and zest to go do it? Doesn't matter if it something that has to be done or not.
It’s the same with the replies to e-mail verses a good ramble in a journal. Which stimulates the mind more?
as you say e-mails demand focus. Sometimes they don't hold your attention nor stimulate you enough to trigger the time and effort to reply, no offence to the sender but….
an email of mundane everyday things compared to an imagination that’s galaxy hopping.. I know where I'd be.

[papilleau.livejournal.com]

'the man in the high castle' by philip k. dick is one of my fave books...I've been scarce on LJ of late, had a friend visiting, then went away for a weekend...seems I take a couple of days off, it takes me two weeks to catch up!