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climb evry mountain/ford evry stream?
Jun. 12th, 2002 02:38 pmit's a rainy day in the neighborhood...
the weather i had ordered for my vacation was dry,sunny with some nice puffy white clouds,good breeze,in the mid sixties to mid seventies fahrenheit. well,i got some of that on monday i guess. the original forecast for this week was hot...mostly eighties.now it's changed to mostly rain. but i'll take that over eighties heat.
yesterday wasnt' exactly a picnic. yesterday WAS hot,but it cooled down in the evening with some rain.
i had dropped off my car for inspection and an oil change,expecting to shell out about forty bucks. well,my bill ended up being for $184 because i needed some brake work done. oh,well.
monday night my mom had a slight headache so she took her blood pressure. it was elevated. so i drove her to the medical center down the street and they kindly doublechecked it for us. it was high on their readings too. so i called her doctor's office and the on call doctor called me back. so yesterday i had to go to the doctor's with mom. the doctor increased one of her blood pressure meds. today i have to drive her to the dentist because her new false teeth are bothering her and she is too nervous to drive to that office on the road it's on.
boy,i hate babysitting. so this is not really a very fun vacation. i don't know how long i can handle having to deal with taking care of mom even though one of my sisters does most of it. she has power of something or other and handles mom finances and expenses and drives her around a lot. next week that sister is going on vacation,so i hope my mother doesn't need to be driven around or other care,because i have to work to pay the rent and my own bills.
tomorrow i am going to visit my dad and help him with some of his unpacking. friday i am planning to just take a real day off. just take it easy.got some laundry to do,and maybe i'll go to the library,although i haven't had much concentration for books,so i've been watching videos.
you could say my life is pathetic but i'm trying to just go with the flow and hope that things will improve in time.
i've been thinking of taking a counseling course with the option institute.i need to find out how much it would be though. the appeal is that the certification course includes a paid position on their staff. it's in western massachusetts i think,a ways away from where i live. but you know,what i really want to do is stay at the job i have but i need to make more money to make ends meet.i believe their institute and philosophy is excellent but it's not really what i want to do.
i always liked richard bolles'(he writes the 'what color is your parachute" books and others) line about finding your purpose in life
"find something that needs to be done that you like doing".
i guess i kind of still believe in the 'god's will' idea of sometimes god wants you do to thing you may not want to do...because it really is for your own good. so i'm trying to decide if it's my ego that wants to stay at my current job,and if the fact that i can't afford to is god's/the universe's way of nudging me in that direction. purpose i would find counseling more fulfilling. but why then do i really love the job i have now? i feel like one can contribute to society anywhere they are,and i think that my best purpose is to turn people on to other people's writings and ideas rather than direct counseling.
i do have some small experience in counseling and find it very taxing.
indeed,it's fulfilling but more draining than a 'true purpose' in life should be. it's one thing to be exhausted in a healthy way but another to be totally burnt out. my current job sometimes makes me nicely tired but it doesn't do the burn out thing very often. whereas counseling would burn me out FAST,i think,since i have so many personal strains to begin with. on the other hand,this particular kind of counseling seems like it would actually be energy enhancing. now i'm talking in circles!
i haven't sorted it out yet.
the weather i had ordered for my vacation was dry,sunny with some nice puffy white clouds,good breeze,in the mid sixties to mid seventies fahrenheit. well,i got some of that on monday i guess. the original forecast for this week was hot...mostly eighties.now it's changed to mostly rain. but i'll take that over eighties heat.
yesterday wasnt' exactly a picnic. yesterday WAS hot,but it cooled down in the evening with some rain.
i had dropped off my car for inspection and an oil change,expecting to shell out about forty bucks. well,my bill ended up being for $184 because i needed some brake work done. oh,well.
monday night my mom had a slight headache so she took her blood pressure. it was elevated. so i drove her to the medical center down the street and they kindly doublechecked it for us. it was high on their readings too. so i called her doctor's office and the on call doctor called me back. so yesterday i had to go to the doctor's with mom. the doctor increased one of her blood pressure meds. today i have to drive her to the dentist because her new false teeth are bothering her and she is too nervous to drive to that office on the road it's on.
boy,i hate babysitting. so this is not really a very fun vacation. i don't know how long i can handle having to deal with taking care of mom even though one of my sisters does most of it. she has power of something or other and handles mom finances and expenses and drives her around a lot. next week that sister is going on vacation,so i hope my mother doesn't need to be driven around or other care,because i have to work to pay the rent and my own bills.
tomorrow i am going to visit my dad and help him with some of his unpacking. friday i am planning to just take a real day off. just take it easy.got some laundry to do,and maybe i'll go to the library,although i haven't had much concentration for books,so i've been watching videos.
you could say my life is pathetic but i'm trying to just go with the flow and hope that things will improve in time.
i've been thinking of taking a counseling course with the option institute.i need to find out how much it would be though. the appeal is that the certification course includes a paid position on their staff. it's in western massachusetts i think,a ways away from where i live. but you know,what i really want to do is stay at the job i have but i need to make more money to make ends meet.i believe their institute and philosophy is excellent but it's not really what i want to do.
i always liked richard bolles'(he writes the 'what color is your parachute" books and others) line about finding your purpose in life
"find something that needs to be done that you like doing".
i guess i kind of still believe in the 'god's will' idea of sometimes god wants you do to thing you may not want to do...because it really is for your own good. so i'm trying to decide if it's my ego that wants to stay at my current job,and if the fact that i can't afford to is god's/the universe's way of nudging me in that direction. purpose i would find counseling more fulfilling. but why then do i really love the job i have now? i feel like one can contribute to society anywhere they are,and i think that my best purpose is to turn people on to other people's writings and ideas rather than direct counseling.
i do have some small experience in counseling and find it very taxing.
indeed,it's fulfilling but more draining than a 'true purpose' in life should be. it's one thing to be exhausted in a healthy way but another to be totally burnt out. my current job sometimes makes me nicely tired but it doesn't do the burn out thing very often. whereas counseling would burn me out FAST,i think,since i have so many personal strains to begin with. on the other hand,this particular kind of counseling seems like it would actually be energy enhancing. now i'm talking in circles!
i haven't sorted it out yet.