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which way to paradise?
Feb. 5th, 2008 09:31 pmyesterday i went to the library to get some books on philosophy and there was hardly anything. there are tons of books of self-help,but right now i don't want to know about HOW to live life,i want a good reason WHY.
that's not a veiled suicidal threat. i don't feel like life is much worth living these days,but i'm still here and plan on enduring. trying to enjoy the little things,but certainly wishing i was much happier.
meanwhile,i've become a heavy duty sugar addict. it's my anesthetic to life,i guess. i could eat sugar all day long,but i don't,because i don't want to feel sick either or have to buy new clothes. still,i'm eating quite a bit of sugar. it's a 'safer' addiction,but it's not different in essence than being an alcoholic. at least it doesn't impair my driving.
i've been eating a lot of candy. i can't find any good brownies to eat,and don't enjoy baking or cooking so i don't make my own. i used to get these really really yummy espresso brownies at the natural foods store but then they stopped making them.
i used to hope someday i'd find 'my soulmate'. haha. but now that i'm almost fifty and have some health problems i've given up on it.i have no friends,though at least there are people i'm friendly with. thank goodness for my sisters and my two long distance friends,though we don't communicate that often. the cliques at work have been bugging me lately,but i'm trying not to let it get to me. i feel like i don't belong anywhere. oh,woe is me. life is so absurd i may as well laugh. after all,so far i still have all my teeth. oops,that's not true. i have one missing but i don't really miss it because it's a tiny bit less flossing to do! yay!
just read a fun and thoughtful book called 'the geography of bliss'. i appreciated the fact that the author,who went around the world trying to find the happiest places, admits to being a grumpy curmudgeon. makes me feel less alone in the world,plus he's witty too. iceland sounds like a happy place to live,but i hate the cold and dark. oh,well. i still think i'd love hawaii if i lived on the less humid side of one of the islands that had good air and it didn't cost so much to live there or i had a lot of money or the hawaiians weren't talking about seceding from the united states.
well,there's no eloquence from me right now but hey,that's life. just felt like writing.
that's not a veiled suicidal threat. i don't feel like life is much worth living these days,but i'm still here and plan on enduring. trying to enjoy the little things,but certainly wishing i was much happier.
meanwhile,i've become a heavy duty sugar addict. it's my anesthetic to life,i guess. i could eat sugar all day long,but i don't,because i don't want to feel sick either or have to buy new clothes. still,i'm eating quite a bit of sugar. it's a 'safer' addiction,but it's not different in essence than being an alcoholic. at least it doesn't impair my driving.
i've been eating a lot of candy. i can't find any good brownies to eat,and don't enjoy baking or cooking so i don't make my own. i used to get these really really yummy espresso brownies at the natural foods store but then they stopped making them.
i used to hope someday i'd find 'my soulmate'. haha. but now that i'm almost fifty and have some health problems i've given up on it.i have no friends,though at least there are people i'm friendly with. thank goodness for my sisters and my two long distance friends,though we don't communicate that often. the cliques at work have been bugging me lately,but i'm trying not to let it get to me. i feel like i don't belong anywhere. oh,woe is me. life is so absurd i may as well laugh. after all,so far i still have all my teeth. oops,that's not true. i have one missing but i don't really miss it because it's a tiny bit less flossing to do! yay!
just read a fun and thoughtful book called 'the geography of bliss'. i appreciated the fact that the author,who went around the world trying to find the happiest places, admits to being a grumpy curmudgeon. makes me feel less alone in the world,plus he's witty too. iceland sounds like a happy place to live,but i hate the cold and dark. oh,well. i still think i'd love hawaii if i lived on the less humid side of one of the islands that had good air and it didn't cost so much to live there or i had a lot of money or the hawaiians weren't talking about seceding from the united states.
well,there's no eloquence from me right now but hey,that's life. just felt like writing.
