*exasperated scream*

god* must have mistaken me for job. well,at least that's how i FEEL.i hate the story of job. god seems obnoxious and extremely unkind in that story. since comprehension isn't my strong suit, if there's some positive meaning in that story i've missed it.
i'm pissed off.
( just when you thought i couldnt be more negative,i'm at it again )

*if he/she/it exists

i've been a miner for a heart of gold but i've had the raw materials right here all along...

i decided to dig up -the alchemy of opposites- by rodolfo scarfalloto from one of my piles of 'stuff'. i read a little bit in it and i feel a little better. god,i love that book.

his writing is so down-to-earth but it's on a subject that matters a lot to me...nonduality- something that i intellectually grasp a little bit,intuitively grasp a little bit more than that,and yet haven't learned how to live with the ideas in it in a practical way yet.

the bible states, "your biggest weakness shall become your greatest strength." it is the underlying principle of alchemy; the gray,dingy lead is not thrown away: it is trasmuted into gold. the lead is the very stuff that becomes our "treasure".
this principle is the basis for all inner change.it is the basis for undoing any weakness, phobia or addiction.

well,that gives me hope,and i feel a little better with something good like that to ponder.